Womans Divorce Forum

Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!

Womans Divorce Forum
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
View Entire Thread
Re: Frustrated and confused

He is choosing to be drunk and irresponsible, Hope you CHOOSE to get you and your children away from him. They are learning a behavior, that they might copy as adults.....get yourselves all into counseling now, would be my suggestion.

Courage.......Hugs, Alicia

Re: Frustrated and confused

Thank you sooo much. I will start choosing right now to leave and live. I definitely cant stay here.

Re: Frustrated and confused

It normally takes an abused women on average 7 attempts to leave before she is successful. Make up your mind and stick to it be the one it only takes once. Wat you are going through is abuse, just a difffent kind than physical

Re: Frustrated and confused

I feel your pain. My husband starting drinking about 5 years ago but it really got out of hand the past year. I also tried everything to get him to quit. Being nice, trying to be accepting, ********* refusing sex. Nothing worked. He told me the same thing...he's an adult and if he wants to drink he will. He also cheated on me last year. I have told him I want a divorce and he moved out 2 months ago. When I told him I wanted a divorce and how hurtful his drinking is, he stopped drinking and started going to AA. He says he wishes I would have given him an ultimatum sooner or flat out told him that if he didn't quit drinking I was going to divorce him. Unfortunately, I was afraid to put my foot down but not I feel its too late. I don't want to be with him anymore, even though he quit drinking. I can't get past all the time he ruined with his drinking. Saying sorry doesn't fix it. I would recommend you put your foot down hard. Either the light will go off or it won't and you'll have your answer. You don't want to live miserably or teach your kids that's how life is supposed to be. You only get to live once. You and your deserve to be happy.

Re: Frustrated and confused

Thank u Patty,
The thing that im so afraid of is that this will never change if i dont do something. I try to show him that this drinking daily clouds his thinking and contributes to the bad decisions. The scariest part is that his dad has done the same all of his life, and still does. I feel so sorry for his mom who works so hard. But not only that most of the men in his family are abusive in some sort of way to their families and for some reason they feel like these women are just unappreciative and naggers. Im like you at this point I dont want to be with him anymore not the way i should anyway. Im here due to the kida and the fact that I have been here for 15 years already(I guess you can call it comfort) of course I do care about him and wouldnt want to see him hurt , but at the same time I know what I want out of life and like you said I only get one chance.