I feel like I'm going through a fairly unique situation with my divorce and custody battle, and am at a loss of what to do right now.
My husband and I separated when my daughter was two years old. I had always been her primary caregiver. I began seeing someone else some time after we had been separated, though our divorce was not yet final. The new relationship ended, and the man took everything I had when he left - took my car, most of my belongings, and drained our bank account, then moved to another state. After this, I began experiencing feelings of depression and having constant anxiety attacks.
I admitted myself to the nearby hospital seeking treatment for the anxiety attacks, for about two weeks. My estranged husband agreed to care for my daughter while I was there, and return her once I was discharged. However, when I was discharged, he refused to let me pick her up or contact her in any way. He kept her like this for the next eight months. I was able to get an attorney, but my husband filed for divorce first - and motioned that he get sole physical custody, because I am "mentally unstable". However, this admission to the hospital was the first I'd ever had - I have no history of mental illness, have had no similar situations since my discharge, am attending counseling for the feelings of depression, and was diagnosed merely with depression and mild anxiety based on the situation and environmental factors.
Right now the only visitation I am allowed with my daughter is one overnight per week - nothing more. During the week, her father refuses to allow me to contact her by telephone or any other way. We have a custody hearing in two weeks - I motioned for either sole physical or joint physical custody - and I am terrified.
After my hospitalization, I moved to a new location away from my husband - who is emotionally and mentally abusive - got a new full-time job, apartment and car. Our divorce is now final, save for the custody issue. I've had a psychological evaluation done that concluded I am no danger to myself or my child. However, there is language in the evaluation that says "I may have been trying to present myself in the best possible light during the evaluation" and "I may have been consciously manipulating the answers so that I looked better." The judge in our case has brought this up as a concern. I did not intentionally try to do either of those things, but the psychological evaluation I took was six hours long, I was terribly nervous, and hadn't seen my daughter in months and just wanted to get through it. I'm not sure how to refute the judge's concerns once I actually get to our hearing in two weeks.
Right now I feel hopeless, devastated with the amount of time I get to spend with my daughter, and scared. Preschool is starting soon, and she'll be four in about a month. Her father refuses to speak to me, in person or on telephone, and I am very uncertain about where she will be attending preschool, as he has temporary sole custody and I have no way of communicating with him. I feel that the fact that I admitted myself to the hospital once is really counting against me, though I felt that it was the best thing to do for myself and my daughter at the time. The judge seems so concerned about it that he will have trouble believing any of my testimony once we get to the hearing. I have had no similar episodes, have not experienced an anxiety attack since my hospitalization, and have absolutely no history of mental illness. But now that my ex has my daughter, and has the temporary custody order, I feel that there is no hope of me ever getting her back. I pay him a massive amount of child support, though I work a minimum wage job, and only get to spend the one night with her a week. I'm feeling pretty terrible right now, and missing my daughter. She was and always has been my world, and I just don't know what to do. I do have an attorney, but so far she hasn't made much progress in getting any of my rights back. If anyone has a similar experience, or any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. :(