Thank you Lisa. I am very devastated but more so hurt. :( My husband has said some things to me that I would have never imagined someone could say. His favorite line is if you know me when I am done I am done. Yet he hasen't filed for divorce I don't know what to do anymore and I am so scared that my love for him could ruin my opportunity to have a child since I am 40, ugh. Re insurance he works for his buddy and pays insurance separate from the company. My pastor told me to file a legal separation but I am so scared that will push him to leave totally that I just am suffering and racing to find a job. I am just trying to make it day to day. A lot of my friends have left me during this time and I hate to say some seem happy that I am hurting. Its an ugly thought. I used to be someone who loved to help everyone and always listened but now I can barely just get the strength to make it through my own day. Makes me sad. I just want my husband back and I know that sounds retarded since he left me I should be so angry. I am so thankful for this site and you and everyone writing it really helps in so many ways to know people care. Thank you again

I'm sorry you are having to go thru this and hurting, I also had to go to work, the only thing I could find was at a fast food place, I hated it but it occupied my time and I also got a paycheck, you have to start somewhere, I have a college degree, but could not find a job, now I am a manager and love my job, the young folks their keep me laughing.

Thanks Ginger. It crushes me more that my husband has money and is living the life while he has no concern for me. I am glad you got a job and a good one. I have my resume everywhere.... I am praying something happens soon. Actually even more for my self esteem. Its hard to go all day and night alone. I hope once I get a job I can meet new nice people and get away from all these thoughts.