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Need Support

Okay, here is the deal. I have been in a relationship for about 15 years, and have been married for about five years. I am 35 years old. I have a 16 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. I decided to have another child, and he is now 2 years old. after the birth of my youngest, my husband stopped looking at me the same way. He is very hurtful and only pays attention to me when he wants sex. I am so lonely, and I feel so hopeless that I have considered suicide. I am an educated woman. My goal in life was to become successul and support my family. But, I feel like my family does not take me seriously. My older children think I am a joke. My husband only pays attention to me when he wants to have sex. I am so totally worthless. Please, someone help me.

Re: Need Support

You are another one who is being really hard on yourself. Stop it!

You can't change other people but you can change yourself. You can purposefully do things to make you feel better about you. If you show you love and respect yourself then this vibe will rub off on other people.

My advice--stop being so available and nice. Develop some hobbies that take you away from home sometimes so that the husband and the kids have to pick up their own stuff and cook their own meals every now and then. Make new friends and develop a life and identity outside of these people who are NOT nice to you. Join a mother's group or find a professional women's network in your occupation or take a pottery class or start going to church or volunteer at a charity. Anything to get you around people who will be happy to see you and give your positive reinforcement.

Most people (MEN) want what they cannot have so the fact you are busy with other people puts your husband in a competition with others for your time and may put some pressure on him to straighten up some. Lord knows it sounds like he needs something to wake him up.

I don't know. I think allot of women feel unappreciated by their children and spouse. That is why we have girl friends and have girls' night out.

It wouldn't hurt either to talk to a counselor if you think you are depressed. Those feelings of worthlessness and helplessness and saying you feel suicidal are pretty strong. What would you tell a friend to do? This support forum is excellent so coming on here is a really good start.


Re: Need Support

Jesse you are amazing. What a wonderful accomplishment to have 3 children. How lucky you are. Please promise you will go to your nearest church or call to speak with a pastor if you can't make it they will talk to you over the phone. My church has a pastor on call at all times. Google Saddleback church and they have an 800 number for him. He has helped me through times of helplessness and showed me the strength in every situation. He may also be able to direct you to a womans bible group in your area. My church told me about another web site : google: girlfriendsandgod this may also be very uplifting. As hard as it is we are the ones who have to make the first steps. Help is waiting. Anytime I am in dispair I write on this site and someone always reaches out with good advise. Good thoughts for you today