Discuss your troubles, compare ex's, offer suggestions, and share stories!
My ex and I were together 18 years, and have known each other for over 20. We have two children together, and were raising two children he made with an ex-girlfriend (who wasn't as "ex" as he wanted me to think, as it turned out - her older child is the same age as my oldest and her younger one is two years younger than my youngest...makes me think about where he really spent the night before our wedding, lemme tell ya!).
Last summer, he decided he wanted out, without a word to me on the subject, I might add -- and "fell in love" with another woman. Those words in quotes are meant to show sarcasm and derision, by the way -- she no more loves him than salt water is potable. As for him loving her, he loves her pedigree more than the actual person, in my opinion. (He has a certain heritage he is very proud of, and she, unlike white-girl me, shares it [or so she claims - whateverthehell tribe she is supposedly part of never existed, according to any anthropologists around here!]. So this somehow makes her "better than" me to him. Funny how, before he met her, he never had a problem with me being white.
The hilarious part here is, I just recently found out that I have MORE of the heritage than she does - mine goes back only 3 generations, to my great-grandmother's family.
But now... he is planning to marry her. Less than eight months after our divorce. He hasn't even known her for two years yet, and he moved her into our home after knowing her for only SEVEN MONTHS. She says, 'Oh, well, we knew we'd be together...right from the beginning...' And then in the next breath says, 'we didn't mean to "fall in love"....' She's such a ****e factory, she only has to open her mouth and she could start a thriving fertilizer business.
Anyway, long story short: She dislikes my kids (and they despise her), but plans to try to legally adopt my stepkids, which is fine by me though I love them like they were my own and they feel the same for me...she is going to try and use them as pawns in her little control games, though, and quite frankly, that makes me furious.
It isn't even that he is going to marry her. It's how he told me about it. He's been all, 'oh, I still love you, that hasn't changed at all, I'll always feel that way about you, blah blah blah'. Well, guess what - if you're gonna marry someone other than the one you are saying 'I love you' to, then you ****ed well better say it face to face, not in a text message. Jerkface.