my husband and i been married for 3 months and when we were engaged he drank but not heavy, after we got married he still had no job and was drinking heavy. it was keeping me awake til 4am with his drunkin behaviour and at times it was verbally abusive.
im was at a point where i thought i know hes going through rough patch and this will pass etc but last nite really got to me. he took money he knew was for our wedding debt and that bought more alcholol which made me mad!! i mean i only knew he did this as i went looking for my bag and i couldnt find it then when i did i saw money missing when he came back he had beer in his hands
i get to a point and im like thats it im leaving but then i look at him and go i love him and we only been married a short while and maybe we can get through this? i dont know what to do i watched my mum go through this as a kid and swore wouldnt get into the same situation but here i am in the same circumstance
i told him to go home to his parents as i need time to think as his parents are in tasmania so he went and now ive had a few days im like do i leave him or do i try to make this work i mean i know 3 months married is not much time to be married but everyone makes mistakes.
I'm not being nasty girl but you did indeed make a mistake. Get the heck out of this situation. If he is like this after only three months it's gonna get worse. You are young, there are great men out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Stop wasting your time with this "gentleman" (and I use the term loosely!
You need to end this marriage now instead of waiting until there are children envolved. There are so many, many women on this site that were married to drinkers just like your husband and boy can they tell you how bad it is going to get if you stay. End it now.
have you been to Al-Anon meeting? I would suggest it. So your dad was alcoholic? Definitely go to a meeting, being an adult child of an alcoholic and married to one, you need support from people who know what it feels like. They can help you keep your sanity, you will listen to their stories and see you are not alone. You will laugh together and cry together, no judgement passed. You can get your head clear and make good decisions. As for your husband...if you want to give him a chance, i'd tell him to go to AA meetings and get OFF the alcohol NOW because as others have said it will get worse and you shouldn't have to deal with that. If he loves and values you (and more so, if he loves and values HIMSELF) he will get help. But he might just not care about his life in general (for whatever reason) and no matter what you do it will not be enough, he absolutely must admit he has a problem and make the choice to have a better life. This will have to come from him, he can't do it for you, he has to do it for himself and you can be there and support him if you wish. I really feel for you, mine's an addict, I wish I had gotten out when I had the chance, I just couldn't (very low self-esteem). I'll pray for you both.
I am in the same situation although we have been together for almost 10 years, married 6. Three months ago I found out he started drinking again. I have almost 10 years sober and he would have had 10 years sober. This sucks and I want out. Thank God I was smart enough not to have kids with him. I could not imagine. Mine does the same thing- keeps me up half the night and I have to get up and go to work. I am scared as heck to tell him I want out, but I know this is the best thing for me. I know I will be fine alone and will one day (maybe) find someone special who will treat me with the respect I deserve. You will too.