Well,

Here it goes. My husband and I are getting divorced after 8 years. There are a lot of control issues and he did not want to get divorced. I finally filed after he was verbally abusive, again and it deteriorated into a physical fight.
2 days after the physical fight, he filed for a restraining order against me so I could not return to the home. Our 3 children live there. Final outcome was he dismissed it but I gave him the house.
I see what depths he will go to for control over the situation . . .
The big question is how do I get my kids back. I'm able to see them for 3-4 days at a time but "his" house is considered home. How do I turn the tables? The option has presented itself, buy a home in the same school district (there is one available across the street).
Thoughts?

It is amazing how soon you find out what depths they will sink to in order to gain control. The exact thing happened to me.
I was kicked out of my home, not for domestic violence, he was the abuser but because he filed first and asked for an immediate order to have me removed and temporary custody of the children, at that time there were two children at home, there are a total of four, two were considered adults in college. The judge made the immediate ruling and I was told by the police that I had to leave, I had never even been served to appear, the court date for a motion to contest was set for a few weeks later.
I decieded to play dirty just like him and sweet talked my way back into the home and the children and got him to agree that I should have the kids in the home and he told the judge that this was okay, he was going to give me everything I wanted (this did not occur but I had a right to be in the home and asked the court for an order to have him removed and got it. My order was given on the grounds of past domestic violence not made up lies like he had done.
I stayed in the home for 3 years while he battled and battled and battled.
He wanted spousal support for life and I had a temporary order to pay it, he did not want the divorce to be final because he thought he would lose his spousal support so he fought it until a judge said enough after three years, go to trial. He ended up losing his spousal support but gained all equity in the home.
I lived in the house the entire divorce, made the payments and he ended up with all of the equity but I did not have to support him with half of my gross income for life.
Anyway you know what makes him tick and I am sure you could get back into that house with his permission if you really know how to act. It is totally up to you how far you want to take it, I wanted my kids and was willing to do whatever it took to get them, in the end I lost custody of one. I got the college students to pay for their tuition and one high school daughter, he got the youngest son and child support even though I had the majority of the childrens bills and one also at home he had no income so he gets child support.
As for buying the home across the street, you will also put this home at jeopardy in the divorce, until the divorce is final there is a chance that the court will see it as marital property and split it 50/50. Especailly if they can trace the downpayment to marital assets. If the divorce is final then yes buy the house if you want your kids to stay in the same neighborhood you may then get a 50/50 custody arrangement. If the divorce is not final then rent something in the same neighborhood if you can.
Turnig the tables is hard to do with someone who is going to fight you but it can be done it just depends on how manipulative you want to become. People who are getting a divorce change their minds all the time so it would not be that unbelievable if that it what you tried to sell him on.
Good luck I feel for you, it is a horrible place to be without your children when you are a good parent.

How did your ex end up with one of your kids? Why did they get split up? Im going to court tomorrow for this and I am terrified this will happen. I cant imagine going thru my days without my children. My ex husband makes alot more money than I do is engaged to be married has a bigger home. My girls and I live in a small three bedroom apt. and I dont make near as much as he does. He hasnt paid cs in over a year. Im just afraid the judge will rule in his favore since he seems to be more stable. But Ive been the one taking care of our daughters since our divorce....

The divorce is not final. He is using the house as leverage to keep the kids. It is the only home they know right now. Since courts like to keep the status quo, I'm not in a good position for custody.
The home across the way seems like a good way to "get my foot in the door" regarding custody. Friends have expressed concern because if he was desperate enough to claim domestic violence, he may do worse if I'm nearby . . .

If you could rent the house across the street then maybe, but the domestic violence claims would also have me concenred. I would never assume he has the leverage becasue he has the house, the childrens cusotdy will most likely be 50/50 if you are both normal and have equally capable attorneys.