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Re: Confused

Hi Julie,

Can I just ask how you felt when you found about his emotional affair? Were you jealous at all? Did it ignite some fire in you?
Im thinking that afater 10 years of trying to pretend you feel some way you dont it really must be exhausting.
It could be the way of life, young children, hectic schedule and also the security in knowing your husband is devoted to you. Are you perhaps bored in that respect in your relationship?
How would you feel if his relationship continued and became more than emotional? Thats difficult to answer because we might think one think but the reality is usually so different.
Have you tried talking and saying how you feel, you could word it differently, something is lacking and you dont know what.....
Tough one Julie. All I would suggest is that you have to be over 100% sure before you make any move.
Really over 100%.

Re: Confused

Thanks Abby for your advice. I wasn't in the least bit jealous of his emotional affair. The only thing I felt was angry because no one knows about his affair because I won't tell anyone cuz it could jeopardize his job. He told everyone under the sun about mine and confronted the man at his home. He is still talking to the girl and I have broken off all contact with my affair person. It doesn't even bug me that he still talks to her. In fact, I ask about her and wonder how she is doing. I'm just mad he gave me such a hard time and I almost killed myself over the guilt of my emotional affair, and he doesn't seem to think he did anything wrong.

I've talked to him about what we have lacking and we are going to counseling. I also know that I am dealing with depression. In fact today is a really bad day for me. I feel totally alone in my house b/c he doesn't get anything i've told him. even our counselor says he has a delusional attitude and needs to get real. I've been trying to be honest and I really do want things to work b/c we have 3 kids, but I just have some serious doubts. Thanks for listening.

Re: Confused

No problem Julie,
I would say you trust him completely not to cross the line with this woman OR you are quite detached from him.
Maybe you could write him a letter, that way you know for a fact you have his undivided attention at least for the duration of reading it with no interuptions or protestations.
Good luck with the counselling.

Re: Confused

Thanks Abby,
I think I will write him a letter. Hopefully then he'll understand what I am trying to say.