Thank you. I have closed down all communication apart from here. Doctor signed me off sick for a month. Emotional distress...ya dont say doc! I sat and cried and could hardly speak....came home, went to bed, got up now and crying again.
Cant stay like this can it....please God dont let it stay like this.

I just feel that every bit of fight is gone now.

My boy wrapped his favourite gem up and gave it to me this morning with an envelope of coins. He said 'we can share it now if you put it in your bedroom, I can still look at it'. He asked if he made my birthday better.
My son is the most wonderful little boy. He does not deserve what mum has become.

I just dont know how to pick myself up off the floor. I just dont know how.

Abbey,
Sometimes I think that decisions unfold before us because they were meant to be and we were emotionally unable to make them at the time. I was in a dark space, where you are now only a couple months ago. I just wanted to die and aside from work isolated myself completely from others. I still struggle at times, yet was able to crawl off the floor to a standing position, with my head held high and a new perspective. I am now able to say to myself-"what the f*** was I thinking." There I was, wanting to end my life while my lying, cheating husband was F****** somebody else! "I deserve to live a happy life and find love with someone that respects me." Absolutely NOBODY is worth killing yourself over or worth compromising the quality of your life, emotionally or physically. I also have come to realize that I truly have to work on my self love and comfort. I want to feel content and confident as a single woman being alone, despite what I am going through in any relationship. You deserve this too.
~The first step is to fill your life with positive faith that will help you with anything. The second step is to begin where you are~
As for your birthday, try to do one small thing that is kind & comforting for yourself today & every day. ~Much love Abbey~

Thank you Sue, you make sense. Seems we do pay for the sins of our ex's one way or another. And you are right we do deserve to be respected.

I have no option but to see every day through and maybe that alone will just make things more bearable.

I spose in 6 months Ill look back and think there were reasons for it all.

Please feel the love and support you are being sent from all over. You are not alone, we genuinely care about you and want the best for you. Maybe take a few minutes to be still and feel the positive energy being sent to you.

Thank you all.

I had a missed call last night from my ex husbands (non supposedly) girlfriend. That topped it off. The only gift had to be the gf calling me....lols. She has never called before!
Ive tried to contact her to see why exactly she was ringing me. She is point blank ignoring me. I think she may have had a drink last night but in truth is too scared of what I could tell her.

I actually feel better today. Im thinking my ex husband is just full of school ground nonsense and im getting pretty tired of it all.

Thank you everyone for your support. It was a bit of a life line I can tell you.

I dont say Im well yet but feeling a little better today.
My internet friends!! Thanks.

well a little better is better than no better One day at a time is all we can do.

I like your outlook Lisa!

I was at bottom before too.....took a long time to get where I am now. I still have rough days. But then if life was perfect we wouldn't need a site like this.
We as women are sooooooo much stronger than we even know. Or God would have allowed men to have babies