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Re: Still stuck with ex.

First off, I am not judging you, when reading your post, the first thing that came to my mind was, all the limitations YOU are putting on yourself by your unwillingness to admit what YOU can do to change all your situations. Not just the husband. Yes, there are laws regarding dropping you off his insurance etc. In stead of focusing all your energy right now on what an ass hole he is and how much time HE is spending on trying to make things difficult for you, spend your time staying one step ahead of him, and preparing yourself to be independent. It sounds like you are in some situations that are going to require a lot of research and exploring your resources, because they are there. But those take a huge amount of effort as well to just get through the qualification process. So either way you choose to go, bettering your situation is going to require YOUR EFFORT, not his. The **** is NOT going to be handed to you. In my experience, until you realize that you are just as capable of taking care of yourself as he is capable of making you miserable, you will start to release yourself from him bonds. When he starts to see that he is loosing his grip, he may surprise you, he may just back off and get on with it. The less reaction he gets from you, in all aspects, the better off you will be. It is so hard to train yourself to not be reactive with your choices and channel your thoughts and actions into a proactive stance. I promise you, when he sees that you can provide for yourself, he might be so embarrassed of his failures and contributions to the fail of your marriage, he will voluntarily save himself from any future situations that will cause you to bring it more into light.
Women are just as capable of providing for themselves and getting things handled. You will be surprised that once you start thinking outside of the box you have only created yourself, you will see where all the opportunities lye. They have been there all along, right on the path that you have refused to let yourself go down. I am only speaking from experience, I have been where you have been. I refused to change because it is more comfortable to stay with what you know. I COULDN'T leave because, I need his financial support and thought, I have to many bills, I will never make it, and the fact that I didn't have to own my choices. WHO ME??? I didn't make enough money to save. How could I do that? He saved for US (him). My mothers destructive decision making skills shed the light for me. She was so good at making her life so difficult and victimized. She was showing her daughters, granddaughters, and daughter in-laws that it is acceptable to come second in life to yourself, and your significant other. Which it is, if you choose that and sincerely desire that for yourself. Me? I am not ok with mediocre, nor being under someone that is destructive to my self worth for his gain. After 32 years of self destructive relationships, my mother decided being alone was better than trying to figure out how to make better choices in her mate. Isn't that funny? All these years she was dealing with the turmoil her destructive marriages have caused her, all in the name of being afraid to be alone, and in the end.... SHE prefers to be alone? I do not want to be there and my daughter deserves for ME to brake the cycle the women in my family have been repeating for decades. Until you accept, deal with, and move on from any pending issues you think you have as far back as you can remember, you are destined to pass those traits and bad decision making processes to your kids or other people you have a direct impact on. It can be detrimental to the future of women. Be OK with being uncomfortable. Change is not going to feel nice. You will open many doors for yourself if you just trust yourself. Because in the end, you are all you have control over anyway, why not perfect the perfect, instead of try to change the doomed? You will be surprised at how strong you really are. I promise!