Thats exactly how he is treating me, as a business transaction. I on the other hand am dealing with the emoitonal side of losing my home, my marriage, my best friend. I asked him if he woke up one day, one month, one year from now and realised this was all a huge mistake, would he have the guts to tell me. Or would he feel that he can't back down on his decision or lose face with his mates. He told me if that ever happened he hoped we would still be on talking terms and he could talk to me. Go figure! Do we call this hedging our bets, or me just hanging on to any hope that he will do this, because I along with the majority of our friends believe the same. He degraded our marriage to his ***** to justify his affair! thats the part that has destroyed me, and him sharing our sex life with her in journals, that also destroyed me and my self esteeem. How could someone do that to another person without realising the impact he would have on me. But then again he thought he was so good at lying and hiding stuff he would never have guessed I would have foudn what I did. It breaks my heart when I relive the words he wrote. The sun came up today and I am alive, so have to focus on good thoughts, not destructive demons living in my head. thanks again for caring.

Hey Jo,

My ex was a fireman also. I helped him study to get on while we were dating. He was on for 20 years while also building homes. Unknown to me at the time he started having an affair with this young girl and because he put in 20yrs he decided to take the early retirement they offered at this time. He told me it was because he wanted to put more into his construction job but as I look back I can see now that it was around the time he started his affair with her and he just wanted more time to spend with her. When we tried a few times to make it work out he confessed he wished he had never retired early....but he ended up with the girl anyways so who knows what lies he was telling???? That's how he met this 25 year old girl...he was building a house for her and her husband...Long story. To sum it up quick....Just two selfish people" Also....some of the stories I heard about firemen from him would curl your toes and I know there is probably so much more he never told me. Just glad I don't have to live with him anymore. Liars destroy lives.....

Susan But like you said...look on the bright side of things. I see now what I have escaped from. Try and have a nice day.