(((((((((((ginger)))))))))))!!!!!
I am sorry you are feeling lonely, I wish there was a sure fire way to take it away. Can you do something you enjoy? Something you usually can't do because you are busy working or with your son? Maybe see a movie you've been meaning to, read a book that's been on the shelf waiting for you to have time for it? I am so sorry about your mom, can you "talk" to her in spirit? Do you believe loved ones stay around after they have passed from this world? Ask her to support you and guide you? Think about how proud she will be of you as she watches you grow and heal? I think the fact that your ex showed up with the other shows he is pretty insensitive and quite frankly clueless, like he really thought showing up with her would comfort you? Whatever. Do you have some nice relaxing music to listen to? Try to relax your mind and body, try to connect to something higher than you, open yourself to the possibilities for your future. Something is waiting for you, something you couldn't have with him. Someone in a different post said to look at it as your being set free. I agree. I remember a video game my kids used to play, "Spyro" and the dragons would be in stone and Spyro would break the stone and they would say "Thank you for releasing me" and I always hear this now in my mind. Although my 'husband' hasn't released me yet, he has way too much fun tormenting me. It's only a matter of time though because his torments don't work anymore. What used to make me crazy, I now just roll my eyes, and think of the day when I'll be free. What were your dreams and goals before you married, when you were small? Go back, reconnect with your true self. Then smile because you can do whatever you want now. You must not be afraid and you must not depend on others for your security. You be there for you, good people will be drawn to your light. Negative people will come and go. Imagine a shield of light when you are near them so no matter what they do or say they cannot hurt you. You are not alone, you just feel that way right now, and understandably so. I wish I could be there in person to share a funny story or 2 to have you smile and laugh, the best defense is a good old laugh! If it's just too much, maybe just have a good sleep. Let your mind drift to happier places and have a peaceful rest. Sending you strength and love.

Hello Gingerb,

I think I know how you feel, though I don't have the added sadness of losing your mom. You are really getting it from all sides, poor thing. I live far from my family, and it is hard to feel comfortable talking to my friends about these feelings. I have felt very comforted by reading the posts on this forum. I do see a therapist every other week, and that helps. But nothing prepares me for the dark nights when the sadness seems overwhelming. I have gone days without really sleeping for more than a couple hours, torturing myself with thoughts of my husband and another woman, or memories of our good times together. Unfortunately it seems there is no healthy way around the grieving process, and you are having to deal with so much at once. But I have somehow broken through, realizing that I am letting go of someone who wasn't good to me. And even though I still feel sad, sometimes really sad, I am now able to sleep at night and I am beginning to pass through this pain. I find ways to comfort myself like listening to music and burning candles, while I putter around the house, cleaning or cooking -- things that don't require a lot of concentration or effort, but show results. It helps to have my home tidy (maybe that's me!) and organized, and cleaning is a therapeutic way to make the time pass. At the very least, my house looks better and my life feels orderly if only in that regard.
I think your mom is still with you and as another poster mentioned, you might find some comfort talking to her. Try your best to eat and sleep well and practice self care. This too shall pass. Love to you. Lori

Hey Ginger,

no doubt about it you have it really rough right now. None of us can take away your pain but we can share some of it with you, we are all hurting on here and understand 'loss' in whatever shape it takes.
And we all know that time really is the magic key but knowing it doesnt help right now does it.
When I lost my mum (I had two!) I thought I wouldnt bare it, I remember the constant ache of grief, the emptiness inside. I remember wondering how I would ever get over it.
I spoke to my mum a lot, cried out to her. Ginger in the end we heal, every one of us on here will heal. In time.

I think your mum will be with you and I believe she will try and offer you strength from where she is, what is stronger than a mothers love?
Try find comfort knowing she will be around you and when you find a moment of peace in your heart, know that that is your mothers love trying to reach you and give you strength.

Still praying for you.

Abby is so right when she states that everyone on this forum will heal in time. I remember not sleeping when it all began...getting only 2 or 3 hours of sleep at the most. I remember thinking there is no way I am going to make it through all this and I remember thinking my tears would have no end. Nights were really hard and quiet parts of the day were also. I know you must have it really hard without the support of your mother...but she is there in you and all she has taught you and in all the love you know how to give yourself and others. I believe death is only the end of the body for now. A mother's love never dies and Abby's words do ring true....we all heal in time. I am further up the path than some of you are now and I can see a light and feel the hope that awaits ahead.

Susan