"When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him."
"My soon-to-be ex-husband brought his girlfriend to divorce court this week. I guess they figured she might as well know what to expect."
"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him)."
"My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't"
"Question: Why is divorce so expensive?
Answer: Because it's worth it."
"An ex-spouse is like an inflamed appendix. They cause a lot of pain and suffering, but after it's removed you find you didn't need it anyway!"
"When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to." - Helen Rowland
PS...Before I ever dreamed of my divorce happening these jokes and quotes would have still been funny if I had read them, but after being divorced they are so much funnier on many different levels and ring out a truth that someone who is not divorced may never really understand.