Abbey,
I couldn't have said it better. Thank you. Again, it feels good to know I am not alone. I know for myself, it feels like it will never go away, but I also thought I could never escape his hold! Stay strong ladies!
I can understand how you feel. It's like one minute you feel like this is probably the best thing that could have happened to you and the next minute you've locked yourself in the bathroom crying hysterically. I think the thing I hate most about this process is the up and down rollercoaster of emotions. I think that even if you weren't alone with your dogs you would still feel alone so I guess it's just something that has to be gone through. I'm pregnant about to have a baby and have a 3 year old at home with me every night and I have never felt more lonely than I do after he left me. I know that sometimes these words don't mean much because you're caught up in the moment of misery, but just try to remember that tomorrow may be one of those good days. Another thing I'm learning is that sometimes you do need to be alone and grieve, putting it off by keeping too busy may just be prolonging it. I hope you feel better soon.
The depth of understanding is overwhelming. I get great comfort in the replies posted to my sometimes irrational behaviour, but it seems I am not alone. I may be living on my own, but I am definitely not alone now. My husband is the one who is alone, and he is now consumed by work. He is going to have to stop eventually and then he will come crashing down. I have given myself time to grieve and still am grieving as I am not a machine and there is no swithch to turn off my feelings and emotions after 20yrs together. I am human and this is what we do.
NMW..So sorry you are going through this, and having a baby alone. I hope you have support from family or friends now. Both issues for you are so emotional but to combine them has to be so hard. Best wishes to you and baby.
Jo, I am so sorry that you are struggling. I am in the process of a divorce after being separated from my husband for nine months. I share the same wave of emotions, often several times a day. I also live alone with two dogs that have provided me with loyal comfort. There are many days that I feel so emotionally numb that I just want to shut the world out & sleep all day. I try & allow myself these moments yet talk to myself by acknowledging that there are better things to come for me in my future & I will get through this. I think myself & many women except less then they deserve for the wrong reasons. I do believe that the most painful experiences do make one stronger, wiser & lend to developing better expectations for future relationships. I hope you are able to provide comfort to yourself each day even if it comes from a hug from your dogs. Be kind to yourself. You are a strong, beautiful woman that will get through this & come out of it feeling stronger.
Jo,
It is a very positive step to reach out to others and engage in productive activities such as cleaning the yard despite the depression you are feeling. It has been my experience this past year that the divorce healing process ebbs & flows. Some days I feel ok & am very productive & other days I just lay around doing absolutely nothing other then sleeping. I also have 2 dogs & they are the highlight of my day. I sometimes feel guilty that they get less then the attention they deserve on my bad days. I feel like my life consists of 2 steps forward & on occasion 1 step backward, which many months ago was the opposite ie 1 step forward & 2 steps backward. Allow yourself the good & the sad moments until the 2 steps forward turn in to 3 etc. Don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself & your 2 dogs a hug. You are doing the best that you can at any given moment & that is something to be proud of.