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Re: Help I am overwhelmed

Kat & Lori
~Lori, thanks for sharing that lovely quote. It really does reflect that we are all responsible for our own happiness. Happiness truly is a choice.

Nature's message was always there and for us to see...It was written on the wings of butterflies.

This quote reminds me of the immeasurable beauty in the every day. A butterflies wings are so intricate & beautiful. If one is so focused on their own misery & sadness, you may miss the butterfly & it's inherent beauty. Sometimes when I am feeling sad, I will sit out in the yard & often see a butterfly or a cardinal. I listen to the crickets & watch my dogs playing. These are the simple things that often ground me. As the quote goes- choose to get up in the AM & be happy. Smile, take comfort in the little things such as the butterflies or the kind & polite cashier at the store. Take kindness wherever you can & also give it in return. Eventually you will wake up & realize that you are happy & grateful for the change in your life. Also as the quote goes- in retrospect our husbands didn't make us miserable, we made ourselves miserable by accepting far less then we both deserve. Much love & comfort to you.

Re: Help I am overwhelmed

Sue, I could tell you I was a carbon copy of what you are going through. That was until I found this site. The women here are the most support and love I could have found anywhere. I do have great friends and family, but I also feel like you do that I don't want to scare them away or burden them with my sorrow. They tell me they are my friends and that will never happen, this is comforting to know. I truly believe that by not taking this personally, this is his crap! You did nothing to deserve this, and the total injustice of what they did to us is overwhelming. Its as if they got up one day and decided to destroy you in one foul swoop! I felt like a hostage that had been taken and put in a dark room also. I have now dropped that feeling as I remind myself, this is his crap, not mine. I speak the truth, my words are impeccable. I don't lie about how I feel or deny myself being upset. I sometimes come home and scream, and scream again in the shower, usually the *****s name who took what wasn't hers, that was MY HUSBAND, and she has and still has her own. We will get through this, my husband has now been gone 5 mths this Sunday, and it all seems like such a waste. There is no positives in any of this, only heartache for all concerned, except him. Remember, be confident that you did nothing wrong, its his crap. We are all here for you.

Re: Help I am overwhelmed

Thanks Jo,
your kind words & the support from the women on this site are comforting. As someone posted recently, we are all in the same boat at different stages of grief. Many of the same themes all seem to be common. I also experienced a great deal of loneliness for the past couple years while married. I certainly understand now why my husband seemed so emotionally detached(infidelity!). I only wish that he had left years ago rather then live a marriage based on such moral bankruptcy! It is so hard for me to fathom why? I feel like my marriage of 13 years was one big lie. My husband actually said to me before he left "I basically told you everything you wanted to hear our entire marriage!" It is all so hurtful. I really want to be able to let go of any thoughts about my husband. I am not the one that is going to have to deal with the emotional burden of immoral behavior. Perhaps my husband won't either & if that is the case I thank GOD that he is no longer part of my life. It has only been 9 months & I am not officially divorced yet so I suppose I should give myself a break. I just feel like every day or even moment I spend thinking about my husband is a moment that I have taken from myself. I just feel emotionally sick! I do pray for all of you.