your kind words & the support from the women on this site are comforting. As someone posted recently, we are all in the same boat at different stages of grief. Many of the same themes all seem to be common. I also experienced a great deal of loneliness for the past couple years while married. I certainly understand now why my husband seemed so emotionally detached(infidelity!). I only wish that he had left years ago rather then live a marriage based on such moral bankruptcy! It is so hard for me to fathom why? I feel like my marriage of 13 years was one big lie. My husband actually said to me before he left "I basically told you everything you wanted to hear our entire marriage!" It is all so hurtful. I really want to be able to let go of any thoughts about my husband. I am not the one that is going to have to deal with the emotional burden of immoral behavior. Perhaps my husband won't either & if that is the case I thank GOD that he is no longer part of my life. It has only been 9 months & I am not officially divorced yet so I suppose I should give myself a break. I just feel like every day or even moment I spend thinking about my husband is a moment that I have taken from myself. I just feel emotionally sick! I do pray for all of you.