"In order to do what is in the best interest of my kids we are being punished."

If it is in the best interests of the kids that you live together, and that is your main concern, then don't get divorced.

That is a bit flip, I know, but you have to face the fact that the kids are going to be deeply hurt in this process. The divorce is going to shake the foundations of their lives.

If you and your husband must divorce, then go ahead and separate as the law requires. Let the kids get used to having two homes. It doesn't get any easier as they get older and the economic reasons are unlikely to get better soon also. Two households are inherently more expensive to maintain. No matter what the child support arrangements are, the standard of living in both households will likely be lower than in your current household.

In divorce, there are no winners.

I wish you the best.