I am 21 yrs old and have been married for almost 19 months...my husband and i have known each other since we were 7. When we were younger i was the love of his life but i wasnt really feelin him...he was kinda dorky and honestly i was pretty lame myself and i kept thinkin that two uncool people together would just end in disaster for our reputations. When i was 15 i got pregnant by this guy who turned out to be a real butthole. I had my son when i was 16 and his dad stayed around for about 10 months but by my son's 1st bday he was basically nonexistent. My now husband and I got together right after i turned 18 (He is 10 months younger than me. He had a girlfriend at the time and I have to admit that I was kindof jealous. I knew that he wanted me and all I had to do was present the opportunity to him and he'd be mine. He took me on my very 1st real date December 8, 2007. I felt so special because I had never had any guy come to my house, pick me up, take me out, pay for everything, and then take me back to my house. We went to go see This Christmas...A week after our 1st date he broke up with his gf and we've been together ever since. I never thought I would fall head over heels for the dorky little boy at church but I found myself completely and utterly at his mercy, but i was scared to love. My son's father had broken me and I had no self confidence and all i was familiar with was pain. My husband (bf at the time) tried so hard to break down my walls and show me what love can truly be like. I have to admit that it scared the hell outta me, but I couldnt do anything except trust him because I loved him so much. March 20, 2009 I became his wife. He left for the army 5 days after our wedding. It was torture being away from him. 10 wks of being without him was painful but I wrote him for every day he was gone. After basic training he had another 4 months of school and although we could communicate thru cell phones and internet i still wasnt able to fall asleep every nite and wake up every mornin to him. October 2009 he finally came home and we were ready to be a real family...this july, july 4th to be exact, i found out that my husband cheated on me. it was the most painful thing i had ever felt. I cant explain in words just how bad i feel. its been 3 months and things havent gotten any better. I wnted to wrk thru things and at the beginning he said no he just wnted a divorce. since then he has been back and forth with wat he wants. he has the papers for divorce but he has yet to give them to me. but he still talks to the girl he cheated on me with. this weekend we were suppose to spend some family time together but instead he calls and tells me he's been arrested for a ticket he got a couple months ago...but he calls me on his cell phone! and then i check our bank acct and it shows that he spent money on 2 diff occassions this weekend in the same area that his "girlfriend" stays...i dont understand how anyone could be so selfish and uncaring. i have been having a really difficult time with this separation/divorce. i dont know how to deal. it hurts so bad. and none of my friends can give any advice b/c i got married young so none of my friends are married...i hate this feeling. i feel so lonely and confused. how do you get over the pain? how do you move on?

You're young and you have your whole life ahead of you. It sounds as though he's giving you a gift by filing for divorce. As harsh as that sounds, believe me, I've been there. My husband threatened me with divorce 5 years ago. At the time I was distraught. I begged him to stay...to work it out and go to counseling. I finally told him that I would not beg anymore. Two days later, he came after me with his "tail tucked between his legs". I took him back, but did not insist on counseling (as part of the deal...shame on me) Anyway...4 years later, the same crap continued, coupled with me fighting cancer (while he was golfing). I finally had enough and filed for divorce myself. He then said it was time to go to counseling. I stopped the divorce and agreed to counseling. Flash forward...one year now..still in counseling...still in separate bedrooms...and still the same feeling in the pit of my stomach. I still want the divorce...I don't trust him, nor do I ever think I will. Bottom line, I regret begging him to not divorce me. It would've been a blessing in disguise and saved me 5 years worth of pain.

I might add that two things have helped me cope this past year...anti depressants and finding a good church home. Remember you're stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Hang in there...take care of yourself, and focus on your child. Find happiness where you can.

I have to agree. Find happiness in the little things each day. Your childs hug first thing in the morning. The warmth of the sunshine on your face. Practice noticing these little things and taking pleasure in them at the moment. Also, check with local churches and see if there are any divorce recovery groups. They are not just for people already divorced. I had a friend tell me about one and it made such a huge difference for me. I learned so much and got the encouragement I needed and made new and supportive friends. Its never about your age. Trust me.

I feel your pain! I wish I could tell you to move on because that seems like the best thing when reading your post. Well moving on is easier said then done.

I wish you the best in the days to come. Try to put your child and yourself first in the things you do and decided.

Take care

My husband and I have been together for 11 years and married for 6 years. we just decided to separate to work out our differences and work on ourselves for a while. The marriage has been down the tubes for the last 3 years while he has been in college. I missed the signs of my husband cheating on me with a girl in his class and he stopped wearing his ring about a month he said it was due to his finger swelling up. Now here i am feeling soooo bad and asking myself why? I know I wasnt the best wife but I always took care of him. I cant give you any advice but I can say I am right there with you in your pain. Dont ever feel like your alone in this.