Omg Shelley, I know it is hard, but you should be glad you found out so soon. If he went home to his mother when you are essentually still on your honeymoon, he will never change. You wont come first in his life. So sad, but you sound smart. You will recover and have a great life that you deserve.

It's hard, but necessary. Your relationship could never survive long term like that.

That kind of twisted familial relationship happens more often with women than men. I had a former friend that destroyed her marriage with a great guy because she was more concerned with what her mother thought than her husband.
As far as her mother was concerned, any man was getting 'between' her and her daughter. He finally got sick of her running to mommy every time they had a disagreement and divorced her. He was snapped up by a another woman within a year.

Last I heard, she was still single and miserable about it.

I suspect your husband is heading for the same situation.

Get a grownup. There are plenty of great guys out there.

Wendy

Shelley, I am so sorry you were dealt this! It is tough for those of us who have been in it for many years but I am sure it's awful to have this happen when you are newly married and you have your idea of what it will be like! Remember this has NOTHING to do with you (no matter what his family makes you feel). Are they of a different culture or religion? This can often result in dominating families like that. My son is 16 and I tell you I love him so much but I teach him to be independent and if he marries to put his wife first! You need your husband to be on your side and sure, in-laws are notoriously difficult, but to have them keep your husband from you and he goes with them instead of you?? Not cool. He has filed? No matter how hard it is, you do what needs to be done and get out. Take the pain as life experience and learn from it and make sure the next guy has a backbone. It's awful you were given this to deal with but as you know all of us here had crap thrown in our faces and you just have to keep going. See if you can get social support, I think the meds are good short term, just make sure they are not long term and social support will help with that. Remind yourself you are worth so much more than being with someone who doesn't put you first. You will be fine and you deserve someone who appreciates you and is proud to call you his wife.

Thank you so much all of you for your amazing responses. These are all things that I keep telling myself but, stupidly I keep thinking that he'll just come back. But he'll probably just leave again.

He hasn't filed yet, as legally you can't until you have been married for one year.

As much as I blame his Mum, I feel sorry for her too. She lost her first child when she was five and my husband is her second child. So she has massive emotional dependency on him, but she also uses this too. For example when we married she said things like "this would never of happened if your sister was still alive"....."this marriage has made me feel like I am in mourning all over again" So the guilt on him was overwhelming. She arranged his birthday lunch and invited all of their family and made it clear that I couldn't be there, but put him in a position where we he couldn't say no.

It's been like this for the entire time. I have no idea why she didn't like me...I am 7 years older than him. But that never bothered us in the slightest.

When he left I was 5 weeks pregnant, I lost the baby due to, what the doctor believes to be stress. So there is just a whole host of emotions and confusion and rubbish going on right now. When I was in hospital, he was told but never came, mu mum contacted his mum to tell her what had happened and she said "it was probably for the best".

I'm really glad that my doctor suggested looking for a site like this as reading other peoples situations helps me realise its quite normal what I am feeling right now.

Thank you again.

Hugs to you (((Shelley))) so sorry for the loss of your baby. Yes, you don't need this, it is too much. I am also sorry for his mother and her loss and the guilt placed on your husband, but you know what, they don't need to put that sadness and burden on you. We are supposed to learn from our pain and work on moving forward, if they cannot, it is their lesson to get through. And it is not on you to teach them. Sad as it is, we just can't help some people. They are stuck in their own dark world, full of sorrow and despair, and they won't or can't see all the beauty out there because they can't move past the pain. Very very sad but I think if I were you I'd go ahead and tell him you love him (if you still do) but if he wants a divorce OK, you won't fight him and seriously just wish him well. If he feels he can't be a good husband and a good son at the same time, then best to let him go. Too bad his mother allowed her grief to destroy the life of her living child. Then remind yourself what a huge heart you have and even though that means getting to love deeply unfortunately it also means feeling deep pain. But you can keep going and keep loving and one day someone with a heart as warm as yours will love you back the way you deserve to be loved.

I am sorry you lost your baby. For his mum to even say such a thing is terrible. Your MIL sounds a lot like mine. My MIL lost a daughter before my ex was born and when she had him she focused all on him, to the point of family division, anyhow she wanted to be #! in our marriage, I fought her tooth and nail for 11 years. At our wedding she didn't not smile, not once. She made my life HELL. When we had kids I was afraid she would try to "take over" When they were born she tried to at first but I put a stop to it right off. She was mad because of religious differences and would tell me my children were going to hell. But was sweet as apple pie when my ex was there. She used guilt to make sure that birthday parties family get to gatherings all revolved around her. She actually scheduled a birthday party for her husband on Mother's Day one year so that I had to chose where to be. I was not at the birthday party. She HATED me from day one. I am sure she threw a party when I left her son. LOL
Get out while you can. It will not change. I am sorry for your loss but be glad that you will not have to fight this woman over and over again for the right to be a mother to your own child.