Thannks Strongspirit, yes the old him verses the real him. That struck a chord.
You are probably right about the move. Im surrounded by chaos and feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Spoke to ex yesterday and he is being so nice, sounds genuine but really just too much has gone on. He said he didnt know what he would do if I took the next logical step, sure he was refering to moving in with new partner. I say nothing really but just remind him gently that an awful lot has happened and we have hurt beyond any recovery. He says he misses me, that he will never love anyone like me, whether we are together or not. He will love again I know that, obviously the (ex) g/f was not what he needed. Id like to be friends with him but I think its way too soon. Well it is, I dont want to even see him because it causes me pain.
I may disappear for a few days after tomorrow until the internet is set up at the new place. Strange but im dreading not being able to check in here for words of encouragement from all you ladies. My ever faithful support group.
I often wonder how fab it would be to meet you all one day. Faces to the names. Now that would be a meeting to remember!!
Oh, Abbey. Wow. I feel such compassion for you! Unfortunately that's all I have to give, I am in a weakened state myself, I'm afraid. My stb ex-husband says the same kind of things to me that yours does, and I am embarrassed to say we have had sex again, even though he has been dating off and on and has made it clear that he doesn't want to reconcile with me. When I'm honest, I think he's just lonely between women. I can't even believe I am doing this! I am so insanely jealous of his partners and his ability to move on. Obviously I am having a lot of trouble breaking away, and I've started thinking that I need to start dating just to made the transition. I honestly don't have a desire -- I just don't want to be alone when he finds the next love of his life! I think the jealousy will kill me. And we too share a wonderful, beloved child who is precious to us both. So, I have to keep seeing him, in some capacity anyway. Moving is alway disorienting, so once you are settled maybe you'll feel more anchored. Again, no advice.... but lots and lots of love, support and compassion.