Yesterday I found out from a friend that she sees my ex at this club we used to go to a lot with his new girlfriend. She said that when she said hi to him he right away said "we're not together" (talking about me and him). He was dancing with this other girl. The other girl looked at my friend crazy as if she was jealous or something. I've never seen her, but my friend told me that she isn't even that good looking. I'm so mad because for the past month he hasn't been giving me any child support. He left us when I was 7 months pregnant for this girl. I can't stop thinking why is he refusing to pay for his children yet taking this girl out all the time to the club, and second why would he leave me (and his two young children) for someone that is insecure and jealous and not even all that beautiful????? I wish these questions would stop running through my head, but they don't. I keep asking myself, my friends, and God over and over why this is happening. I'm at home with my children emotionally, physically, and financially supporting them while their father is out running around with some other b**** like a teenager. I was with him 8 years, I think I'm still in denial that I could have been with someone like this. I want to wake up and be able to see the situation without the tainted glasses of love. I know if I could do that it wouldn't upset me that much and I would consider myself lucky to have gotten rid of him (even if he was the one who left me). I just can't do that. I feel like I'll never be happy again and how unfair life is because he's with someone else living it up and I'm alone with the kids (don't get me wrong I love my kids). I just keep thinking if I'll even find someone who actually loves me and my children.

NMW
just a quick response (im halfway moved just taking 2 mins), its a shallow life the partying. In my experience it doesnt fulfill them and eventually leaves them empty and lost.
My ex joined the going out gang and his g/f was part of that. Hes had enough of it and his life is messed up by it.
I can fully understand the jealousy thing although its irrational and we wouldnt really want to be that person, i think we are just human having a human reaction.
I became immersed in the life my ex lived with the g/f and it drove me mad (but that was the whole point of it you see). The best advice I can honestly give is not to give in to that 'curiosity' the less you know the better, because your mind will work overtime and imagine all the fun they are having. It will make you very very unhappy. I have since learned my ex's new (ex?) relationship was hell from both sides 90% of the time. I certainly wouldnt want that relationship. BUT thats not how I imagined it, I couldnt sleep thinking of them. the truth can be far removed from what we believe.

Best sincere advice, resist finding out what they are doing.

I had exactly same with child maintanace and 'partying', Ive gone through csa in the end but I have put it to him in no uncertain terms about his priorities. Im with you and I get it. Hurts like hell, avoid all info, as hard as that is to do, it is for your benefit.

Give it time.. did u file for court ordered support? I felt the same way you did, my ex ran around for over a year with his new gf (who everyone tells me is ugly, i dont think she is that bad but i only saw pics, she does have a really big forehead and is really really tall) anyway he ran around to bars, wineries, concerts, stayed at the beach, while me and the kids didnt have money for groceries let alone money to get our pool up and running, or be able to take them anywhere like fairs etc.I found things to do with the kids, going for walks, hikes, and free things, and also played with them at home. he even took the one window a/c we had and sent a pic of the hotel pool they stayed out to my phone! well now that child support services has kicked in he is crying cause now he doesnt have money to spend on his gf and from what i hear her bday was the other weekend and she wasnt happy.. guess he couldnt take her out.. now the kids and i are still struggling because i am not getting all the money he is supposed to give me, but it gives me some pleasure to know that he doesnt have money. He tells me that when they come see him i have to send them with food cause he doesnt have money to feed them or do anything with them. i said welcome to what my last two years have been like. he can feed them, he feeds everyone else that shows up at his new frat house (my old home) and he has money to buy his liquor.
It takes time but worry about yourself and your kids, dont think about what he is doing, remember you are doing right for your kids and he isnt, people will notice that and look down on him and praise you. I know it sucks and hurts alot, but keep your head up. You will find someone else, i used to think the same thing, that no one would want me cause i have three kids, but i did find someone, and he cared for me and my kids.. unfortunately he was very jealous and i had to end the relationship. I do not think i was ready for a relationship anyway, i need time to get myself together, I moved out and am looking for a better job (so i wont have to rely on getting money from support as much). I need time to think about what i want in a relationship as well. i put so much into my marriage of 18 years, that is difficult for me to give someone anything now without feeling like the same thing will happen. Maybe i wont find anyone, but right now i know i need to be content by myself, i dont want to rely on someone else to make me happy, that is up to me.
SO hang in there, take care of yourself and the kids. He may think he has got it made right now, but if you get child support services on him, he will see how much control he doesnt have over you. Take care of yourself and the kids, and whatever you do, dont forget that you are doing right and he is doing wrong.