I would love to get an honest response from as many women a possible about my situation. I would prefer it was without judgement, because i will simply ignore those comments. This situation is too complex to involve your judgments.
Anyway, I have been married for a little over a year. To keep a long story short and I've gotten too deep into a relationship that I didn't want to be in. I stayed with my wife because she is certainly a catch, however she is just not right for me.
I now find myself in love with someone who I truly connect with on a level I did not think possible.
I cannot let the opportunity with this woman pass me by, however I am having difficulty ending my marriage due to the guilt I feel.
Anyway, my question is, how would you want it to end if you were my wife?

I'm speechless.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
As a woman who has been cheated on by her husband my first reaction to this post: YOUR AN A$$!
You "prefer" NO judgement but really what do you expect from a site where woman have been destroyed by their husbands because they simply "can't let the opportunity pass them by"
To say you are with your wife because she is a catch.....REALLY?!? She deserves better than you and if I were you I would walk up to her and say " WIFE, I'm not good enough for you. I am a snake and have feelings for another woman. Go and live your life with someone who actually has a heart"
At least give her honesty.
I spent 11 years devoting my love to a man who "loved" me. He spent those years enjoying girl after girl after girl. Because he " couldn't let the opportunity pass him by"
I had plenty of opportunities pass me by when I was married. Know why they passed me by? BECAUSE I WAS MARRIED!!
Grow up. The world is no longer your play ground, you put a ring on your wife's finger and lost your rights to the swings. No sit on the bench with the other MARRIED grown ups
Men like you make me sick to my stomach.

Beautifully put, Lisa.

Thank you Lori.
I am just sick and tired of men thinking they can have everything. Every once in a while they need to stop and think about how getting what they want effects the people in their lives.
Maybe they should stop and really think about what the word MARRIED means. Sure there is always going to be temptation, but it is moving above the temptation that makes you strong. Only the weak give in to temptation.
SUN, you asked how we would want it to end if we were your wife? Have you though about the fact that she might not want it to end. She is living life thinking everything is okay, that her husband loves her and she is most likely dreaming of the future she is going to have with you. New experiences, babies, grand babies, and all that mushy crap that us women love to dream about. And I'm sorry to tell you but it is not going to end happy. Not for you, not for her, not for the woman you are so in love with now. I hope you do not have children.
Once upon a time I loved my husband, I prayed every night that he would stop cheating, did everything I could to keep us going. Then I stopped caring and prayed he would go away.
Sue is right you are just looking for someone to tell you "It's okay" YOu are not going to get that here.

I am not even officially divorced & my husband jumped "the greener grass" fence three times already! Must not have been that much of a better opportunity! Metaphorically speaking, I am going to fertilize, weed, groom & prepare my lawn so my grass is greener, while he continues to jump the fence over and over and over!
Furthermore, my husband better never step on my lawn again!!!!

I think the ex's grass looks greener than mine right now because he is always fertilizing it with a bunch of manure. lol

Too funny Susan!! & oh so true!!! I can imagine the bucket of false truths my husband is telling the women in his life. When it comes to dignity, I know at the core of my being, despite my husband's immoral behavior that I have and will continue to act with integrity, even towards him.

Yes, it's sad things have to be the way they are. My ex lost all my trust in him a long time ago and I still get more halve truths than I know what to do with from him. He just tells people what he thinks they want to hear. That's one great thing about this divorce. I don't have to say or think...."I have a liar for a husband." He can twist and manipulate all he wants....but he is not MINE anymore and I say that with PRIDE instead of SADNESS.

Susan

Sounds like you are seeking validation for morally bankrupt behavior! Good like with that!!!

You will find no sympathy from me as well.... but for your "wife's" sake:

Do not lead her on only to hurt her until you're good and ready to let her go.

Do not give her the ol' "I love you, but am not in love with you line."

Do not try to justify yourself in any way to her...she knows better

Answer her as truthfully and honestly as possible without trying to justify yourself in any way, shape, or form.

You are already going to hurt her enough as it is...so don't get greedy and vengeful in this divorce

Never tell her how wonderful this other woman is and how it just happened...because it didn't just happen and this woman is not wonderful for what you and she are allowing to happen to your wife.

You are about to rip out someone's heart so be a gentleman and look at all things from her perspective when dealing with issues.

Never put her down or disrespect her actions or feelings or anything you may search for to reflect some blame on her to relieve your own guilt.

Don't talk bad about her to others to justify your own actions for what you are about to do.

You loved this woman enough to marry her at one time so don't flaunt this other woman all around town and respect your wife enough not to allow this woman to be flaunted or even presented to her in a social situation.

I could go on and on...BUT JUST THINK OF YOUR WIFE...this is so sad.

Susan

Quickly.
And I get the house.
And the good car.

I'm a firm believer that you have to "earn" your way out of a marriage. Being married for only one year and giving up is NOT earning your way out. Marriage is very difficult, rest assured. If we're on this forum, we already know that and live it. What needs to take place now, whether you end things with your wife or not, is that you seek counseling. You are not drawn to this other woman because she is your soulmate. You are drawn to her because of something lacking within you...some insecurities of your own. What will likely happen is that you will leave your wife for this other woman, only to find another that REALLY "completes" you. It will never stop. Nobody will ever make you happy unless you are happy with yourself. So go ahead and do your wife a favor...call it quits so that she can eventually realize some true happiness someday. In the meantime, get used to that guilt. It will live with you forever.

Selfish pig! Your wife deserves better than you. A selfish, self centred, narcisistic grub! Get an annulment then she won't have the baggage of one failed marriage, its you that is the failure, not your wife. Grow up and get some balls and take some responsibility for the commitment you made to your wife. Tell this other woman to GO AWAY. You are both destructive & selfish.

Well Sun you wanted as many answers as you could get. Happy?
We know you prefer no judgement but so is life.....

OMG, I just read this whole thread at once and cannot stop laughing!!!! What was "SUN" thinking posting on a site for woman and divorce?!!!! Apparently he is clueless in all aspects of his life! Do you think this is what he was thinking he would get when he posed his ever so carefully worded question? After all, he did tell us not to judge, ladies!!! His wife may not know it for awhile (BTW, I love how he says she is a "catch" -- hope she hasn't caught something from him!) but he is doing her a huge favor.

I'm sure he had NO CLUE. Men they are so stupid sometimes. That's what happens when you think with your d**k instead of your brain.

Probably gets a rise from getting a rise out of people. So to speak

Lisa > The sad truth of the matter is that many men think with their d***s but they are very bad thinkers!!!

So true. My ex thought with his ALL THE TIME..that's why he is my ex.