think I need some help. I am still in the middle of the divorce. I dont want him back. But we were together 38 yrs and had 5 kids together. Everytime I think I am ok and going to get thru this < I hear something about him and I feel such pity for him, He has ruined his life and marriage himself. But I was in love with the man at one time. And I hate to see him so bad off, he has now gone into depression and I think maybe even a mental break down. He is divorcing me. He told horrid lies about me all over town. Used up all our retirement fund, left a huge mess for me to put in an auction to pay off all the debts. I SHOULD HATE HIM. MAYBE I DO. Yet I keep getting these feelings of feeling sorry for him. I think if he had just cheated on me it would have been easier ! Any one have any advice on how to get past these feelings?? Thanks

Why is the divorce happening? How did he ruin his life and marriage? If you can give a few more details maybe one of us will have gone through a similar situation and be able to offer more support for you. Just speaking generally, whenever I feel sorry for my stbx, I remind myself he made CHOICES. Just like we all do. He made bad choices, he could have had an enviable life. But he prefers to act like he does and has lost me and our kids. I know I gave him every chance to turn around so I don't let myself feel sorry for someone who doesn't deserve it, even if he is pitiful!