I often wonder what it would have been like if my ex left with the other woman when the children were babies instead of 7yrs. and 8yrs.

Oh, I'm sorry... I guess that would have been impossible.... his other woman would have only been 16yrs. or 17yrs. then... the thing that turns my stomach is that the day I walked down the isle with my ex to get married...his girlfriend would have been only 6yrs.(She could have the flower girl along with my ex's niece.) MEN. I would say if it is to late walk away now. Don't let him hurt you or the children any longer.

When I was walking down the aisle with my now-ex, his current thing was the unwed mother of two children, both under 10, and with different fathers, living in our local ghetto (and by "ghetto", I mean, GHETTO -- someone getting robbed, beaten, etc. pretty much every other day) -- and was sleeping with one guy for rent money, another for groceries, and a third for car payment. Because she was "too proud" to get assistance from the government. ???

Hey are you and I divorcing the same man? My ex's other woman has two children..one of which is my ex's or so she claims, she claimed she was another's when it helped her pay the rent....and the other one well she don't know who her father is...could be my ex's too?
She has slept with every single man in the area. Oh yeah and some of the married ones too
She found out I left my ex and kicked her current "sugar daddy" out the next day. He was heart broken, why I do not know.

LOL Lisa!! Nah, my divorce has been final for a few months. I want nothing from him, and he *better* not ask for anything from me!

I bought the kids their school clothes, supplies, new backpacks, shoes, etc. He, on the other hand, waited 'til the last possible instant to get their school lunch paperwork in (I later found out they did not get school lunch for 2 days, because of this!), and when he sent it in, it was by way of the OW...and not through the mail, in hand, so she could look like the good guy.

I have to agree with the others, go now. I wish I had left the day my second (and last!) was born (she's now almost 10). I also wanted family and happiness so bad, we probably all did and do. But HE isn't what makes your family OR happiness. You create your own happiness, he sucks it away, so get rid of him and keep the happy. You and your kids are a family with or without him. And family can also mean dear friends that care for you and you care for them, it doesn't have to mean in the traditional sense. What you want is to enjoy life, to feel accepted and connected. You can most certainly get that without him and from the sounds of it he'll KEEP you from it. I have been in this God awful marriage for almost 20 years. I didn't enjoy time with my children when they were small because I was so depressed from him, a constant reminder of how I wasn't good enough. This led me to isolate myself, so no friends either. Now I am realizing I am good enough and having only people who care about you in your life makes you feel good (even if that means cutting ties with traditional family members who only bring you down). Did you read Karen's post? (Thanks AGAIN Karen!!) Go to www.gettingpastyourpast.com. Sign up, read some blogs. Get the support and confidence you need to get free. It's YOUR life, not his, he doesn't deserve your happiness, you do. Not time to feel like death, now is the time to love life! Good luck, let us know how you are doing!

If it helps, I work with children and I work with older children the longest because they can be very traumatised mainly because of the severed attachments (whether good or bad it hurts a lot and when in a tug of war between parents can lead to all sorts of problems if unresolved).

If you are going to leave it will be much better for both you and your child the younger the child.

Let us know how things go.

Wish I'd have left years ago...

I have 2 kids, 7 and 11. It's hardest on the oldest.