Hi,
I'm new to chat room of any forums for that matter, but I would really love your advice on this one. My soon to be x husband and I have a 17 month daughter together. He was abusive (manley emotional) towards myself as well as my daughter who was 5-6 at the time.This abuse was documented by the police as well as the school councellor. He also has a criminal record with drug trafficing and possetion from his past. During our 2nd case conference he wanted this rediculas schedual that would have our baby bounced 2 times a day between us. I had 5 mins to decide another schedual and out of panic I took the thoughts of a friendd who said what about 2days on 2days off and alternating 3day weekends. My lawyer was present and she advised me that, that would be a good plan. I didn't realise but that schedual was 50% That happened in July, the next day when I had a chance to think about what had happened I phoned my Lawyer and told her that I would never had agreed to this if I knew the details. She said that the only way to change the order was to fire her and "good luck getting a new lawyer to take my case". It is now nearly Nov and I can not emotionally deal with this anymore, there is a prevention order against him stating that he can not contact me directly or in directly,(which keeps my 8 yr old and myself safe)but how can you raise a healthy baby when we don't even know her schedual, her diet, her milestones at the other parents house. Further more, it is not him looking after our baby, it is his Mother. And due to this Childrens aid society will not investigate because the grandmother is not violent. We are waiting for a family assessor (could take minimal of 3 months) to come and see which is the most suitable parent for care and control, this person could easily be manipulated by my master manipulator X. Does anyone know of anything I could do, in the mean time?

FIRE your lawyer she is not worth the paper her degree is printed on. Get a new lawyer, get free aid anything is better than a lawyer telling you "good luck" ( I'm on lawyer #3 now) File for custody modification. You have the right to do so at any time during the life of your child. Be prepared. DO NOT go into the hearing with the reasoning that you just gave here though. A judge will not except "how can I raise a baby when I don't know her schedule, her diet or her milestones" as a good enough reason to change the 50/50 custody you have now. As mothers we all know that it is hard and unfair but a judge will see you as trying to control and take away time from the father. You will be made to look like a fool.
Prove that he is not taking care of the child. But remember that in the eyes of the court his time is his time and he can spend it as he wants.
Can you provide better care for the child while he is at work? Does your child require a special diet that is health related and they are not providing that? Are they neglecting your child? Has he hurt the child? These are things that can help you. Please don't make up things though, it will only hurt you and your child. If you can prove that he is neglectful or that his mother is neglectful then you can try for full physical custody( maybe even full legal custody) with visitation. If you get that you are entitled to child support.
I made "special rules" that my ex had to agree to when he has our kids. He is not able to drink or have anything to drink 24 hours prior to our boys coming to his house, his GF is NOT allowed to be alone with our boys, he has to be there when he has the boys, no babysitters. I insisted it be written in our orders. After all why should he get visitation and not be there when they could be home with me.
I hope all works out for you, good luck. ( I can say that because I'm not hired to defend you )