I agree with everyone else, it won't take that long! I am coming out of a 20 year marriage but it's been horrid the whole time so I keep working on making it final in my mind even though he won't leave my house. I also FORCE myself to stop thinking about what he's doing, who he's with. I just say it does not matter, we are not together anymore. Whatever he did, I'll never know the full truth anyway, so why stress myself by coming up with all sorts of scenarios. And whatever he does now, well, that's between him and God. As for people at work, yeah, they can be pretty tactless. I actually wear my ring to work (put in on in the car on the way, take it off on the way home). Otherwise I get met with beady little gossiping eyes lighting up, hoping to get a piece of my story so they can go and whisper and giggle about my pain. Charming. If they ask, make something up. Say you found out he's a spy. If someone asks you if he's really a spy, say no, they misheard, you said he wasn't always a guy (you get the idea!) Pretty soon they'll get tired of it and know they won't get the truth out of you and know you are realizing they are being childish and so are treating them as children. And you can always say "well, obviously I was kidding! I was just trying to get you to mind your own business" if anyone confronts you on what you say. Well, you can always just tell them to mind their own business, too. Tell them the reason is personal, then get a very secretive look on your face and say "trust me, it's for a GOOD reason that I left..." make them wonder...you know have a little fun at the expense of their stupidity. They deserve it, no need to worry about offending them, they certainly aren't worried about your feelings! Sorry, it just makes me really mad when people have fun gossiping about other people's misfortunes (hate the tabloids too, but I guess it's part of the culture). Just hang in there, focus on your goals, make a great life for yourself. He can only hurt you if you let him, so take back your power.

Thanks you guys! I had a rough day today because had to have one of the cars changed over to the x's name. He was there and tried to talk and plead and say how sry he was....now that his "roommate" bolted and didn't tell him I knew she was going to before he did isn't that funny. He is getting desperate because he can't pay me half of the house payment or keep cat food in the house or milk, or toilet paper....all the things I took care of he can't seem to do...boy is he missing me now. It's still hard to listen to him and not say ok I'll come home but dammit I don't want to go through this again I can't. I am tired of crying at the drop of a hat or my stomach hurting every time I think about my future, but he did this to me so why would I go back and just relive this again and again.

Julie I sure hope that, that will be wrong about how long it will take to get over him, because I would probably be dead by then.The way I am feeling now I dont think it will take that long.
Lisa, I am with you on the burning of the bed,I would have done the same. Burning can actually be kind of healing. I burnt a whole pile of my husbands clothes the other day, and it felt good.

I rented a dumpster and threw ALL his belonging away that were in the attic. His Gf at the time actually tried to go dumpster diving to get the stuff back...I called the owner of the garbage place and had her stopped. It's good to have connections in a small town.
Serves him right for bringing me back when I didn't want to be back. Every once in a while karma needs a SHOVE in the right direction