Hi Denise, I would say counseling would help and not make things worse. I'm currently going through a divorce, thank goodness there are no children involved but i've been to counseling twice. The first time my soon to be ex came with me and he didnt get anything out of it. The second time i went by myself. The counselor told me that he was selfish and didn't care anything about me and the best thing for me to do is to LET HIM GO. I didn' want to hear that but thats what i'm in the process of doing. I know in the long run this will be best for me.

Hi Denise,

Counseling is a very empowering and validating resource, and I hope you can find a good therapist to help you work through this process. Since you are concerned about your privacy, is there any reason you would have to disclose it to anyone if you did start seeing someone? Also, I can't imagine any judge or court in this day and age, looking upon it as anything but a positive thing. In fact, they may court- order your ex to seek counseling for his issues!

Good Luck and stay strong!

Hi Denise,

I work alongside a psychotherapist and we often write letters of support for women who are in court for exactly the reason you stated. A judge will rather take opinion from a professional than an ex partner who cries 'she has mental health issues'.

Get all the support you need. By not doing, he is still controlling you.
We all need support at some time and it will always work in your favour recognising that. Good luck.