It's been one of those days. I'm just needing an understanding ear tonight. Heard from my attorney late yesterday and didn't like his response. Feel like every direction I turn I'm getting screwed. Watching my stbx do whatever the blazes he wants all the time while I take care of everything (though when it comes to my kids I would want it NO OTHER WAY!) Of course this hasn't really changed with him moving out. He's refused to pay child support or any other joint bills "until this deal is all settled" and my attorney hasn't heard back from his attorney on this one yet. The mortgage company is hounding me because Loser hasn't paid the mortgage this month. My mind was far from work today. Time to clean up dishes and go enjoy some much needed time with my wonderful children. I thank God my stbx doesn't want the responsibility of any custody with them! But if you were to hear him tell it he wants to make sure they're financially taken care of and knows that joint custody would mean no child support, so he's taking the high road and settling for visitation. I feel so guilty for saying this, but I'm sure many of you have thought it to...it would be easier if he were killed in a car accident or something. Sure, now when he gets drunk and thinks he can drive home and kills himself I'll probably be thrown in jail.

Becky, dont feel bad I have had those same thoughts throughout this whole mess. I really think my kids wouldnt care either. Fact is it would be easier !
On here, I swear it sounds like all the men are the same. Lazy, uncaring and leaving all the work up the the wives. I dont have any idea why I put up with it for so long. I really dont miss mine at all. Cant wait till everything is final.
Best wishes your way.

Wow, now I don't feel so bad wishing some of the thing I have wished upon my husband. This is my first time on this forum. I did an Internet search because I don't know what to do, but I know if I don't do something soon I will break. I have to leave him. I can't stand the way he fathers the kids, he has never treated me like he cares about me, and all the manly jobs around the house such as fixing plumbing or yard or anything else I always do cause he doesn't know how. I hope to one day meet someone who is really meant for me. I know it sounds kinda fairy-tailish, but I would like a happily ever after with someone who really cares about me and has some kind of ambition.

Welcome to the forum. I'm new as well and have really enjoyed going back and reading some of the previous posts. It really helps to know you're not alone. And, yes, it does sound like all men are the same. On that note...a very good friend confided in me the other day that her brother is getting a divorce, he has had an affair, and he's gay. Then she added...he's always been like the perfect husband and father-I should have guessed he wasn't a "real" man.

Don't feel bad about having awful thought about your ex. It's normal. There are days I pray his harness is faulty when he climbs the turbine..or that on his way home his brakes go out. Heck just a few days ago there was a tornado warning where he lives...I swear my knees are bruised from praying it would hit.....
It's because they act like such jerks that make us feel that way. I remember praying that he would be okay when he was over seas, hoping that God would place his hand over him...now I wish I would have let him kill himself, life would be much more peaceful.

OH YEAH! I'VE HAD THOSE THOUGHTS FLOAT THROUGH MY HEAD TOO...BUT REMEMBER YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT...I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN KARMA...HE HAD BEEN TREATING ME HORRIBLY SINCE FEBRUARY, NOT SPENDING ANY TIME WITH ME, NO INTIMACY, ETC AND I WAS TO TRUSTING TO BELIEVE HE WAS DEVELOPING ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP...AFTER 16 YEARS TOGETHER ON LABOR DAY HE TOLD ME HE WANTED A DIVORCE, 3 DAYS LATER TOLD ME ABOUT HIS SPECIAL FRIEND, YEAH, I HAVE EVIL THOUGHTS SOMETIMES BUT I TRY TO REMEMBER THAT I HAVE BETTER VALUES, DESERVE BETTER, AND WILL SOMEDAY GET PAST THIS UP AND DOWN GRIEVING, ANGER AND FRUSTRATION... AND I PRAY ALOT, EVEN THOUGH I'D NEVER BEEN VERY RELIGIOUS GOD IS HELPING ME GET THROUGH THIS!!! HANG IN THERE!!