Sherry

I am sorry for you. Keep your chin up. I went to my stbx cousin's funeral, but went at different time than he did. I dont think that is possible for you because it is the funeral for his father and I assume that he will be there the whole time, just keep your head up and be there for the kids. You are the better person for it.

It is funny how you mentioned being in a relationship .. i too met someone after my husband left, thought he was the sweetest guy but had my guard up. Well after a while i realized that the sweetness was just one part of him, the other part was crazy jealous, like jekell and hyde! The worst part about it was that i wanted to show my x that i can be in a good relationship (he has been seeing someone for two years).. well this guy just gave my ex more to ridicule me about.

Hi Sherry,

Sorry to hear things are kind of tough for you now. I remember the threads about your ex and you are better off without him. My ex is still buying and doing all the things he wants and living with his girlfriend. It's hard to let go of issues when they seem to be getting all they want and you feel like you are just holding things together. The harder part is having to be around them knowing what they have done. But hang in there...we are the ones left picking up the pieces of everything and tying up loose ends... but things will get better... It just sometimes takes time. I have some issues I have to work on with my boys,(now teens) at times. My ex doesn't always make my life easy for sure, but maybe you can work on some goals in getting rid of your boyfriend if you really want to. Try not to let your ex's life stop you emotionally from doing what you need to do to get your own life in order again....You deserve to be happy. I know sometimes we are stuck in a place for a while... while living out our lives...there are things that I would like to do but because of situations and being a responsible person, I just can drop everything and do them now...but I can plan and set goals and ideas into motion. I can write down things I may like to do in the future and start looking into them now. There is no way I am going to let my ex's life or actions ruin my emotions or dreams for my own future. You have to force yourself to let go of him little by little and really reach out for what you want in time. Maybe you are stuck now with a jerk for whatever reasons...but I know there is always a way out of things in time and with planning. Hang in there Sherry and go to that wake standing strong by your daughters...you are their Mother and you can do anything when it comes to supporting your children...remember that and take their love they have for you and use it for inspiration to get rid of this jerk if you want...You are here, you count, you deserve a life and now you have to hold tight to this and have faith to take the steps you need to live happy again. No one can take away inner strength and peace and I will keep you in my prayers. Have faith. It takes time to put our lives back in order because we want to do it right so remember...do it with baby steps if you have to.

Susan

Thank you both for your comments. I really need to hold it together; I may be in ex's company (with his wife also there) a lot for the next week. It will not be easy. Summer-be glad if you ended with the jeckle/hyde guy because they only get worse. Everyone on some bipolar support boards warned me about my new guy to end it quick but I didn't listen; thought we could work it out cuz when he is nice he is really nice. But when he is bad he is unbearable. Susan-hope things are going well for you and your kids. I have had 2 grandsons born since my ex left; one to each daughter. They are a joy to have around, so that part of life is good for me. Just can't get the man thing right. Thanks again guys.

Wow, Two grandkids, Sherry, that is so great. I'm glad not everything is that bad. I had my two boys late in life so it may be sometime before I have grandchildren, at least I hope, meaning in a good way...the boys are only 14 and 16. I can't imagine if I had my boys when I first got married one would be 24 and the other would be 26 now...I wonder how that would have affected my divorce???? Oh well, I can only guess. It is nice to hear from you again.

Susan

Hang in there, you will get through it!
ps yeah i thought he would get better if I gave him more attention but it just got worse, had to cut all ties and ignore dozens of phone calls and texts.. they were even bi-polar..one saying sorry i love you, do anything for you and then one saying i was sleeping with his brother.. in a matter of minutes! wow, I dont know who was worse, my stbx who practically ignored me our whole marriage but was also jealous or this one who couldnt spend enough time with me..men.. sheesh.. maybe one day we will both post about finding a good man if there is one out there lol.. remember to keep your head up.. dont let them get to you, you are better than that!

Sherry--I am sorry. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a good mother and was a good daughter-in-law. I am sure your FIL loved you and found the newest wife to be lacking.

I say dress up and look gorgeous and poised and walk in with your head held up high.

Tell us what happens.
SAM

Bipolar is what I found out that the man I married has. It seems the entire family has mental issues. His 12 yr old daughter just tried to kill herself. BTW I am wife #4 and he has six kids to 4 different women. Owes child support to WV, OH and PA total close to 100,000.00 and somehow avoids staying out of jail