My husband is 18 years older than me. We have been married almost 4 years. He came into the marriage with the home, the business, the money (good income). I quit working, cleaned up home, and have helped him through some major health issues and surgerys. He has chronic back pain and has had back surgery. Now to the problem. He tosses out "just leave if you don't like it" whenever something doesn't sit right with me. He threatens divorce all the time. He knows he has all of the assets and I would have nothing. He made me sign a prenuptual agreement stating we each keep what we came into the marriage with. He has inherated big money, he has been granted early social security due to disability. So my question is what to do? Do I have any financial rights if we divorce? Any advice is very welcome! Thank you.
That's how I would think it would be, too, that anything acquired since the marriage is what could be divided. So, can you plan a little? Start tucking some away? It might not be very nice for me to think that way, but it isn't very nice of him to threaten divorce all of the time, either.
I guess I have a different take on it than the others who replied. First of all, how long has it been since the last major surgery? Anesthesia is known to cause deep depression in some.
Second, it sounds to me like he is feeling insecure and keeps talking about divorce because he wants reassurance that you love him and want to be with him.
Unless there's more to the story, that's how I see it.
Is he being verbally abusive or is it that he is needing more reassurance that you really want to be married to him. I agree with the poster asking these questions.
I'm not assuming, just asking.
If he is mean to you not wanting to be married, which would be obvious to you, that's one thing, but if he is needing more reassurance that you want to be married to him, that's another.
Can you clarify?
I need to reply to all of the comments. I didn't see it as his being insecure. I have viewed the divorce "threats" as meaning he wants me to leave. Usually he doesn't directly verbaly abuse me, it's more subtle. Lots of digs toward me, my actions, my family. I find myself doing it back at him. He had his surgary over 1 year ago, so it's not medication from that, however, he does take pain medication when his back hurts (which has been a lot lately). I know that affects moods also. I still love him and I wish he were happier in his life with me. Thank you for the comments.
I would highly suggest hiding as much money as you can now. Get a separate bank account and take $30 out each time you go grocery shopping. Usually with big purchases made at Costco it is very easy to hide money. You have to do what you have to do to take care of you and your kids. I will be left with nothing soon enough so I am doing what I can until then.
JRN: At the very least, anyone who has inherited big money should not be collecting disability payments. Call a Lawyer. I know how you feel, my ex threatened divorce four times - calling me names out of nowhere, then threatening to leave.