Hi
Thanks, I think that was all good advice and a lot of it I think too.
Your right, there is no abuse or infedelity for that matter either (nothing close to it.) There are some heavy issues mostly surrounding a tragedy that happened in his past (long before he met me) that he has a lot of emotional problems from. His family all burried their feeling and never recieved counselling & the scope of how badly he was affected from it never manifested until we had the stresses of married life and raising kids. He has had a lot of help now but still remains so shut offa= and suffers from terrible anxiety and depression at time...
I keep telling myself too that I need to try harder to find the "love connection" as well, as obviously it was once there.... on the other hand a lot of the time I feel that I am just postponing the inevitable and the children will be older and more knowing. How long should one stay in a loveless, sexless marriage? I am 26 (he is 34) but I feel 76 most days...
anyways it is a big choice, one I am not taking lightly but it does consume my every thought and lately I feel that I am stuck between a rock and a hardplace.
It's hard for someone here probably to know how to answer, of course it's great you are reaching out & talking about it. I applaud you for that! It's more than many would do & it's healthy.
I was very much in love with my husband & he with me. So I can't relate from experience. There was adjusting to though & that took time & work.
So, "love," was not the issue in my marriage/divorce, abuse was, he is very abusive & noncomital (sociopath, etc).
What I think of is some I have known that have divorced & their stories of lack of love.
One situation I know of, the party wanting divorce seemed to me completely immature, having some fantasy about dating & single life. They had a good marriage but she made it up in her head that there was no love, which it was obvious after many years of marriage & children they had about all a person could want & it was just that she was, "tired of," being married.. so she had affair & divorced.
I've seen a case where it did seem there was not much love in a marriage & so many struggles & that they tried to bond but there was little there to hold onto. I guess I saw that as a loveless marriage & I can see where maybe in that case where divorce may be the right option.
In relation to God, I would say being extremely honest with yourself is important. There are rules for divorce & remarriage according to The Bible.
Remarriage is where it gets complicated if one has not been cheated on, according to The Law of God, then one must remain single.
You do have children. It's not good for man to be alone, you would not likely be alone.
It's just a huge step to take in your life, to divorce & ramifications that are far reaching.
God Gives us Free Choice for a reason.
We are to love at all times. Only you & God Know the reality of what you are living. My advice is to be honest with yourself, your spouse. If you are having other issues in life, it might be that God Is Wanting you to push through things that are difficult, but if you genuinely have a loveless marriage & there is no bond between you other than the children; love at all times, may not be what you are able to have in this.
Are you seeing a Christian counselor?
I found answers come to me in seeing Christian counselors, or at least connections where people are praying with me to find the right answer.
Secular counselors can be good at what they do, but as Christians I think having others praying actively with us for answers especially at pivotal points, is vital.
God Bless you.