Thanks for the reply. I am sort of with you that for some reason I have connected more easily with males, they seem to reach out to me more readily. I have worked hard to have both female & male friendships as a single person. I hear you, one can have a friend without sex. I am Christian & don't believe in sex outside of marriage (cause it's fornication), so just a little effort goes a long way with that.
I think for me right now, it's just adjusting to being divorced, the idea of it & what next. I had it down pact as a single person, was adjusting to married life, happily, but now divorced, seems like new territory.
I also hear you about the path our life has taken does affect us like it or not.. Frankly, if your husband cheated I do think the bible states that you can remarry. However, I also believe that The Holy Spirit gives each person the ability to interpret the scripture & thus be held accountable. I have heard many versions of The Word /interpretation of, as to remarriage after divorce. There's almost as many interprets as their is flavors of koolaid. Not to make light of scripture but that I do know it's up to each one to decide & then held accountable to God, as it should be.
I am strong as to dating & saying no to sex outside of marriage but I guess I am feeling so unsure of this new title, divorced, that I am guarded. I have a feeling one relaxes & then begins taking risks again as life calls for, & when we are living in The Word.. so that we are, "not alone," etc.
My ex was very abusive, the worst of the worst, a psychopath & fits almost every one of the descriptions. I think I am healing from the abuse too.
I very much appreciate all of the input here. I wanted to get various opinions/thoughts & it is helpful.
As I say, it's weird because I felt strong & sure of myself as a single person, then also married, I was confident & happy. But this is unchartered territory, needing adjustment time for me. that's probably what it is.
Yes, you are blessed with a good mom! I have wonderful parents as well. They are supportive, loving & I know I'm fortunate. I also believe that sometimes these special awesome people in our lives that we do appreciate & love so much, & don't go away are the GodSend for us. Whether it's family, friends, children, a spouse.. there are typically blessings & not to be discounted!
Thank you again, for the reply/ies here. It's very helpful to me right now especially!

God Bless!

Oh my goodness, Lisa, I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. My Mom was killed in a farm accident a few years ago, and how I wish she were here to see me through this!

I'm sorry for your loss Becky. I "hated" my Momma when I was a teen. We butted heads ALL THE TIME! I was actually moving to Georgia after school, we could not live together. God opened my eyes to just how special my Momma was. I got sick was in the hospital for over a month, I was 90lbs when they sent me home. I couldn't do anything with out help. My Momma had to bath and dress me all over again. She showed me such love during that time. We really bonded. I talk to my Momma every day.

Becky, I'm sorry for your loss also.
It's difficult enough going through a divorce, then loosing a parent on top of that can be really tough.
My folks are getting up there in age & I have been very conscious of this lately as well. We have a history with our family too.. which is bonding.
Praying for you..

If there is a silver lining...I am now closer to my dad than I have ever been, and if my mom were alive I know it wouldn't have been the same with him. I know my mom is looking over me, but how I wish she were HERE! Thanks for the kind notes.

Finding the silver lining is soooo hard when your hurting isn't it??!!

Yes, it is (hard to find silver lining when hurting).
I was just thinking about you comment here.
You know the story Joseph & the multicolor coat.
Isn't it true that in our pain & loss, that sometimes we are able to see in more color because of what has transpired with us, not that it is what was God's Will, even necessarily, but that we wanted the marriages to work most of the time (most of us & despite the circumstances), but even though silver is difficult enough (lining) to see, but when we do, the colors are more brilliant, dimensional, multiple.
Your comment reminded me of the scripture of Joseph.

"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him." - Genesis 37:3,4

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." - Philippians 4:11