Oh my goodness, Lisa, I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. My Mom was killed in a farm accident a few years ago, and how I wish she were here to see me through this!

I'm sorry for your loss Becky. I "hated" my Momma when I was a teen. We butted heads ALL THE TIME! I was actually moving to Georgia after school, we could not live together. God opened my eyes to just how special my Momma was. I got sick was in the hospital for over a month, I was 90lbs when they sent me home. I couldn't do anything with out help. My Momma had to bath and dress me all over again. She showed me such love during that time. We really bonded. I talk to my Momma every day.

Becky, I'm sorry for your loss also.
It's difficult enough going through a divorce, then loosing a parent on top of that can be really tough.
My folks are getting up there in age & I have been very conscious of this lately as well. We have a history with our family too.. which is bonding.
Praying for you..

If there is a silver lining...I am now closer to my dad than I have ever been, and if my mom were alive I know it wouldn't have been the same with him. I know my mom is looking over me, but how I wish she were HERE! Thanks for the kind notes.

Finding the silver lining is soooo hard when your hurting isn't it??!!

Yes, it is (hard to find silver lining when hurting).
I was just thinking about you comment here.
You know the story Joseph & the multicolor coat.
Isn't it true that in our pain & loss, that sometimes we are able to see in more color because of what has transpired with us, not that it is what was God's Will, even necessarily, but that we wanted the marriages to work most of the time (most of us & despite the circumstances), but even though silver is difficult enough (lining) to see, but when we do, the colors are more brilliant, dimensional, multiple.
Your comment reminded me of the scripture of Joseph.

"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him." - Genesis 37:3,4

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." - Philippians 4:11