Great question.

I exercise, eat healthy foods, stay close to God, try to connect with other Christians regularly, there's also no doubt whatsoever that there was a reason for my ex's leaving me & I have worked through this since his leaving, this was & is crucial for my own healing.
I have goals, hobbies, always things to do, I am sickened in the idea of offending God. This is part of my strength but also maybe? as women we struggle with this part a little because we loved & trusted our husbands & we were one with them. We have to shift back to letting God Be The Head as before we were married.
I think in my marriage my husband struggled tremendously with letting God Be The Head over him & us. It seemed like a power struggle he (my ex) had within himself.
It's that confusion that disassembles I think. There has to be a clear line, to God, shared between a couple, the man who is confident & in God, & married to share the love & leadership. If he is not, then things get all mangled.
SO, when ex left for last time to start a new adventure in life (don't ask me what or why) then at least it allows God Again to be The Head which HE IS but the ex didn't like that.
I guess I see that there are marriages that are Very difficult & maybe are without love & there are many scenerios.. BUT a marriage that is workable & with God & that is also a blessing to God, that union & where one spouse is bound & determined to not live a Godly life & marriage, then perhaps there is inevitable failure at times.. so for those that are called, to HIM, we pick up our brokenness & are healed by HIS LOVE. HE IS OUR STRENGTH.
In some ways I am really struggling because I so hold to not wanting to offend HIM & am very cautious in moving on/ what that means to me & His Will for me..
but as to headship. God is The Head of my life now, my ex didn't want the job, as to being head of the two of us in marriage. He's in power struggle.
I think that much of our strength comes from these thoughts & knowing that all things work for His Glory.
Anyways that's where I'm at with it. & most assuredly I have a ways to go to where my grief work is complete.. getting there with His Help.
Good question you asked.

Lisa-
Look to yourself for inner strength. From what you've already posted, I think you have it.
Also, there's a new website designed to help women, but also try to make changes so dealing with divorce will be easier in the future. Check it out at: www.watch4bertandlilli.com
go to the forum or visit the contest section. Think about writint your story. If nothing else, it is very theraputic.

When I first left I had to go to a womens transitional housing I spent 1 1/2 years there.

I would cry while I was driving home from work. Once I got home I would turn lights off and light a candle then talk to God about my feelings.

I would talk to my Christian friends. Sometimes I felt that I bothered them but, there were sure some good friends that I had.

It has been almost five years since I left without a single word from him. That makes it hard since he didn't even call me once.

Most of my days are good then it catches up with me. Like now with the holidays. I go into peoples homes to conduct business . When I go out into my car it hurts. I miss home. I then come to this tiny apartment.Eat my dinner by myself. So, keep that in mind.Be strong and just do it.

Pray,pray for God to give you guidance and strength.

Ashyah,

Divorce is so difficult & God Hates Divorce.
LOL if I could go on a date & we talked about me & my ex / I'd be happy. but of course that's ridiculous.
I agree it's very hard, to start over, to figure out how to rebuild after divorce. But staying close to God is so very important.
I feel so many times in my life God Has Given me little tests, to see what I will do, the direction I take, etc. I of course won't know exactly how I did on the test until my judgement day. But it seems that when I feel I am offending God, or potentially so, I get a sickened feeling inside of myself.
I felt this way last night when I went to bed & this a.m. But friend, the guy I went out with, just as a friend but I could not fit it into my brain correctly & even though nothing happened in any romantic sense (kiss, etc) just the thought of being with another man sent me in tailspin. I think a tiny bit might have been not enough sparks BUT each time this occurs (3 x's) it is that nudging from God it seems.. that connect & any time it feels like there is going to be a break between me & HIM, then I can't continue.
SO, yes, there are nights alone, some not, much prayer & pleading for healing, BUT what I am finding is that what matters THE MOST is my connection with HIM, that it is.
NO BLOCKS.
The thread about our strength, it is inner strength & in union with CHRIST. When we veer from it I think our spirit lets us know & then it's important to listen closely.

Very good ideas from the other posts. Sounds crazy, but I do a lot of research on anything that I am feeling uncertain of in this process-finances, housing, child support, custody, etc.. For me knowledge brings strength. Then I stay so busy I don't have TIME to do anything but stand up tall.

Becky,me too. They say knowledge is power. well not sure if it is or not but I love it. There is much information online & like you anything I am contemplating I can spend a lot of time learning more about. It is empowering!

Today I met with a credit counselor, met with my attorney, made an initial call to a bankruptcy attorney, got the number of a realtor and too my son to his counselor. I thought I had been educating myself, but man was there a lot of information thrown my way!!! My head is swimming, my stomach hurts and I'm exhausted!

Becky, it is exhausting. I spent so much time it seems dealing with have to's in this divorce. I am still not done but about 1/2 way there. The financial is nearly complete. YES, lots of information & paperwork.
I think what amazes me is that I know that ex moved on, left everything to me to deal with. However, if one is talking character, at least I am responsible enough to deal with it, he never was & proved that (didn't pay on the debt).
It's like we are doing the work of both parties by ourselves +. I think the support comes in terms of others that have been through this..
God Sees All. :)

Hang in there! My theory is that as long as it isn't getting worse & there's progress, I'm happy!
& I do feel @ peace. It's just so much work & such a difficult road to walk in getting to where we need to be post divorce.