I've been living in limbo for over a year now....wanting to get divorced, but dreading the whole process. A friend of mine compared divorce as a bitter pill. It was unpleasant, but eventually led to recovery.
Those of you who are already divorce, how long did you live in the state of limbo? When did you KNOW it was really time to move on?
Jean, my stbx left me, but I've known for years it was inevitable. I had thought about leaving and always talked myself out of it. I truly believe in the vows and used that as my anchor for staying, I was worried about the well being of my children, I worried about where I would live and how I would make ends meet, and the kicker-I DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE THE KIDS ON WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS! I am in turmoil now in the process, and yet even in this state of turmoil there is more contentment and happiness than I have felt in years. Sounds strange, doesn't it? There is no doubt that the process is awful and painful, but the sooner you begin the journey, the sooner you will be at your destination. You have a wise friend. Best wishes for contentment in your life.
I have to agree with Becky, it is a hard process that I have yet to start but I know it will not be easy. I just came to my choice to end it.. but as many men do he refuses to see it as his fault and thinks I am just in a bad mood. We as women have to be strong and stand up for ourself's. Yes sharing the kids and doing Holidays here and there is not fair and will hurt a lot but it is better than living in the pain as we have with our husband. I would rather learn to get used to sharing the kids and time and schedules than learn to get used to a un happy marriage ..again and again. Every day is hard for me because I have to find the strengh to not be the victim again.. it is easier to give in and try to only fail again than to have to get back up again and say: Why do I keep doing this to myself. I am not the perfect person to give you advise but I can tell you that you made a choice to stay and look where it got you.. now you need to make the choice to leave and not be a victim again. Good luck !