Re: This might be too personal but I need feedback
As was my ex. He had it all and it still wasn't enough for him. His loss....
I have well over 70 emails from my ex telling me things like "you will rot in hell for what you have done to our family" "If I had it my way you would be dead" All kinds of threats and horrible things. All because I got tired of his lies, his cheating and him leaving me alone while he "played the clown" at the bar until all hours of the night...I couldn't use a single one of them in court. I think that if anything he will be ashamed to show any of this in court. I cried, but then I am not a heartless man...My thoughts and prayers for your healing...
Re: This might be too personal but I need feedback
You are so right strongspirit! Why on earth we expect them to suddenly have an epiphany AFTER the marriage ends when they were so clueless IN the marriage is beyond me, but like you said its seems hardwired in us to try to 'make him see sense', 'see my point of view'. They never did before, why would they now.
I guess these are part of the stages of divorce, like any death its a process, I still cry, not at what I lost, but what he left behind even though it was my decision to kick him out. He gave up, when I gave him the prime opportunity to step up. I wasn't expecting him to read my mind either, I spelled it out in very large letters what I wanted and expected from him and he chose to sidestep what I wanted and go to what he needed.
It's always good to get it out of your head and put it down on 'paper', read it analyse it. I wrote an email to my stbx, left it for the night, came back and re-read it and decided to send it, it needed to be said and whether he 'got it' or not didn't matter, it was in his head now.
Re: This might be too personal but I need feedback
I have been separated about 4 months and going thru the divorce process. I also did the letter thing about 3 months ago while we were going thru the mediation process.
I worked on my letter for a couple of days and then asked him to meet me. I read the letter to him not expecting a reaction which was a good thing because he said nothing. But the letter was more for me to say my goodbyes and to verbally say the words out loud to him.
He wanted out of our marriage so it still hurts and I still cry. But I know in time it will hurt less and less.
But my point being putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper does help. It gives you some form of closure not complete closure but it does help!