hi im new to this. im 23, ive been married since i was 21. i have a 1 year old and am 5 and a half months pregnant, both to the same dad. well about 4 months a ago, well maybe a lot longer, i decided i was not going to spend the rest of my life with him. he just wasnt the man i married or thought he was. drugs abuse and everything were something i didnt find out about until i was married for 5 months and 4 months prego with my first baby. well while i was pregnant with my first baby at the end he got his stuff together, then 6 months after my son was born i got pregnant and he became a piece of sh*t again. And i said enoughand took my son away from the bad stuff. I still hoped he would get it together and we could be together b.c i was pregnant and didnt want to do it alone. and because all i kept thinkig was **** what am i gonna do being 23 have two babies, and am divorced, doesnt sound to great on paper to a guy my age. I mean its not like im some low life trying to live off the system or anything. i mean im smart, been toold im pretty, and im a year away from getting my bachelors in education and social work. i am a good girl, i dont do drugs, i dont drink too much once or twice a month, and im a great mother. i treat people with respect, im loving faitful and kind. im not trying to toot my own horn but im not all that bad. but even though i have good qualities and all i was just soo worried about being by myself forever. and now i find out my supposed husband got a stripper pregnant. shes a dope head an lost her first kid. its disgusting to think my sons going to be related to that. but i plan on cuting him out of my life. im pretty sure i can get full custody, b.c he couldnt take care of my son if his life depended on it. and my kids are never going to be exposed to his low life lifestyle. im jsut nervous about the future. i know it sounds stupid b.c im young and there arepeople on here who are in their 50's having to start over and i know that must be a million times harder. but im still scared. especially since the second babies coming. i didnt mean to get pregnant,but i guess it was meant to be. im going to love her but its also going to make it harder. how can men be so irresponsible? uugh.

i guess there was no question here, i just needed to vent and i do need support. b.c im the only one of my friends who is married and in a situation like this. its like no one gets me. or understands

WOW!! I have to say that is a lot to deal with. I have been married 10 years and divorce is in progress, but we are having issues with custody he thinks I am unfit to raise our four kids and wants them to live with him. So we are battling in court. I would say you are so smart for getting out before it got worse, mine lasted ten years of verbal and physical abuse, I was just so stupid to stay with a man who hits me. You are doing the right thing I know at times it will feel like the end of the world but trust me tomorrow is always another day. I hope yours goes smoothly. I am here is you want to chat.

Roxie

thanks so much for the advice/ support. itreally cheered me up. especially b.c it hurts so much for him tojust not care anymore. i gave him everything. never did him wrong but im the one getting screwed overbasically. love sucks haha

You should be SO proud of yourself and see how amazing you are to see he is a low life and GET OUT and get well!! You are awesome and BIG hugs to you!! I was 19 when I married, 22 when I had my first child. He was using drugs and drinking. Lied, covered it up, told me I was crazy... When I was pregnant, I found out the truth. Too late for me. No friends no family no job, just too bad. More years, more lies. another child, now we are almost at 20 year anniversary and STILL THE SAME. I wish to God I had your strength at your age. You will do great. You love your kids, enjoy every moment with them, forget about him, your kids are a blessing. Life is great and you will be happy without him. I cannot get mine to LEAVE and it's making me crazy but I pray a lot and have faith I will be out of this soon. God bless you and your children and please see your strength by getting out. I am so sorry you have to go through this and I admire you and just know you will be fine. My biggest regret is I didn't value myself and that I spent most of the years being depressed when my kids were small rather than appreciating them. i am making up for lost time now we do a lot together I still have issues with my 16-year-old but we are pretty good as a family of 3 (HE does NOTHING with us, I desperately want him GONE) so take good care of yourself and your little ones. Do well in school, it will be your ticket to freedom.

I agree with the others and yourself...You are ahead
of many right now when it comes to divorce...

1)You are young

2)Your children are young

3)You haven't been married that long and are not rooted to deeply into your marriage.

4)You see him for what he really is and know you do not need that

5)You still see the value of yourself and did not lose yourself in a long, unhealthy marriage.

6) you did not build up years of memories and material things for your future that he can now take away from you....

I could go on and on, but I think you already know all this and you have your answer, you just have to put it all into action now for the sake of you and your children. Fear likes to hold us all back...even unfounded fear that we start to believe in. You know there is something out there for you when the time is right...now you just have to let your heart know this as well.

Susan