Does anyone else feel bad that OK you were dealt a bad hand in terms of marriage but blessed in many other ways? i feel a lot of guilt. Yes it's I had parents who were emotionally unavailable, grew up with physical and other abuse, married young to an abusive 'man'. But I have 2 great kids. I have a nice house. I have a job (although it doesn't pay much). My daughter is obsessed with "hobos". Don't know why. We live in a big city so plenty of homeless. I have volunteered in homeless shelters and pass no judgement. But with hands out, I won't give cash. I feel they will use the money on drugs/alcohol, so I am not helping them. But I would so buy someone lunch. It always seems when I am in the city I am in a rush. So I shake my head no and say sorry and move on. But I would take someone to lunch and have a chat. Let my daughter see the human, not the 'hobo'. Is this weird? Does anyone else feel that despite all the crap life has dealt them, you want to do something like this? Have you? Was it a good experience? Maybe after being treated like I am invisible for so long, I just want the other 'invisibles' to know they are seen?
In the words of the modern poet Andrea Gibson, "our insanity is not that we see people who aren't there
it's that we ignore the ones who are"
Strongspirit, what you say makes sense to me.
We all need to feel connected & as Christians I think maybe there's even a greater need to make a difference for those that are suffering. Put that with also the losses we have endured & esp needing to connect, it's a recipe for wanting to matter!
One of the other threads was talking about how enabling is so unappealing & not healthy.. so that you are not wanting to give cash I can understand. I think you are right, there are many that would use it to buy drugs & alcohol, not all I'm sure but you don't know which ones.
I have my own little personal ministries that I initiated some years ago that mean a lot to me, it's a passion of mine. I know there are foodbanks that can always use help, probably over the holidays even moreso.
As to your daughter & what she is doing, maybe if she sees you getting involved as you are mentioning she will follow suit but as you say, with more caution.
I was thinking yesterday about young people & how they have to be beside themselves at this economy & what is ahead for them. For some of us who have lived more of a life, it's not quite as frightening, that we are able to face our mortality but for those younger I cannot even imagine what goes on in their minds with the world as it is.
It sounds like your daughter's senses are good, her altruism, but the younger ones don't have good sense sometimes of their own vulnerability in situations..
Maybe she'll jump on bandwagon if you partake in structured help of the homeless/down & out.
I saw a commercial last night for, "Jimmie Johns," it was kind of odd but this family was in a bad part of town, there was a gang that looked as if they may attack the family, the mother roles window up & makes a call on cell phone.. the, "Jimmie Johns," guy makes a delivery, I assume to feed the HUNGRY GANG ...
LOL guess it was a signs of the times commercial!
(that the world is getting worse)
I think the activities where we are reaching out are great places to meet people too!
:)