Hy Husband wont let me go. I got to work today and some how he got someone to let him in my office because he left a note in an envelop on my desk. Telling me he wants me back and he is hurting and he knows he effed up and he can't live without me and he wont stop till he has me back in his life, he even wrote he wants to start trying for a baby....How am I supposed to move on from this and start my life back if he wont stop doing this to me. It just keeps opening up all those wounds. Its been 2 months and I haven't even filed the papers because he wont do his part because he thinks we will still get back together. I can't do it again. I just don't know what to do to make him realize its over and he just needs to get his paper work ready and move from there. I haven't cried much in a few weeks except today but not because of his letter, more because of the loss of our life together because I know I am not going back now.
Well the only reason I am waiting because He didn't to get rid of the house that in my name and I don't want it, my lawyer told me that he needs to get a loan so we can do a quick change deed in the divorce, however I have given him 2 months already and he hasn't even tried to see about a loan. I even went as far and writing names and numbers down for him to contact...I am so tired of doing everything for me.
Oh okay, I see. I was wondering what he had to do before you could file. Can you talk to your attorney about MAKING him do this asap? Heck I just wish my ex would sign the papers. At first I offered to just walk away for everything, just to get him to sign but he refused. SO now I'm taking what is due me, I will wait for 6 more months and a judge will divide everything. And well if I get nothing, so be it as long as I have my name back..the fact that I have to legally carry his name around makes me sick.
Julie, I agree if you want the divorce,I think I would file or at least think about filing restraining order. If your mind is made up, I do agree, if you file then he will know you are serious & probably let go.
I can imagine your frustration. mine won't MOVE OUT. I feel he is never here for any of us, prefers his friends and bars to us, so GO already and let me live my life. Sometimes it is unbearable. I used to cry because he wasn't here and now I cry because he won't go. I want my own life. I want to move on and maybe if I am really lucky I can find someone sweet who will love me and care about me and who will accept my love in return. You stay strong. Don't give in or give up. If he leaves you a note, don't even open it, just tear it up and throw it away (not in your desk trash, in the cafeteria trash where you can't be tempted to retrieve it). A baby??? Ha. I feel I was trapped by that. I wanted to leave, he acted like we could be OK I got pregnant and he started up again, knowing I really couldn't go anywhere (or at least wasn't willing to) with a baby. It happened twice. I love my kids more than anything in the world and I am so thankful they are here, BUT I have horrible guilt they have to have this life, they have to pay for my mistakes. Go ahead and file. he won't change. They play on our hearts, knowing how much we love and want love, knowing how we value family and marriage. So they play to trap us. You are strong enough to get out, he'll get over it, he won't have a choice. I've been in this cycle 20 years now. Don't do that to yourself. The divorce is probably inevitable. Get it over with now and save yourself YEARS of pain. You go and have a happy life for yourself and when you have a kind and caring man in your life, have your babies with him! Love is waiting, leave pain behind.