ok so my divorce was in Oct and its already DEC Andrew has not payed child support like he was supposed to back in November he has not seen his son since then and does not call or anything i have try ed over and over to reach him but i know hes busy with his new gf that he started dating right after we split (sigh) im confused i hate the man really i have full custody of our son and its like i am happy that i have that but im also angry and that hes is not paying his child support either =( i didn't make this child on my own and i never see or hear from Andrew EVER! what should i do? i cant stop thinking about him and his new gf or the fact that he kicked us to the curb hes so hateful to me and its like his son is not on his mind at all. His family wont even talk me at all which is fine hurts but i saw that coming anywaz......i am just im hurting still!!! i want hi out of our lives how can anyone not love there child and not want to see them? he gets supervised visits and uses that as a excuse to why he cant see him or why he cant pick up a phone.......yeah idk

i think some men just try to block and ignore all by all i mean child(ren) & $$ so that they dont have to feel like a failure. Sometimes its easier to just ignore it than face the cold hard truth!! And its irritating that very upsetting that men just dont get it

My EX also left me for another woman and tends to only want our son with him when her son is around. He does pay child support and spousal support but everything while belittling me and telling me things in my house. I think men tend to forget who they were before they find some one that makes them feel like they are in love. I wish I could tell you it gets easier but to me it gets harder and harder each day. I had been with this man for 20yrs and he just left and moved in with her. I have 2 kids. one 7 and the other 18. He only sees and support the 7yr old. I wish you luck.

This is good thread.. that I do think there are tendencies with men, the ones esp that have not matured & will not commit (as my ex was also).
My ex was always wanting someone else, I was not his first wife, won't be his last likely. He wants what he cannot have. If he has love, it is the insecurity then he wants another love, so where is the lack? Within himself! & YES that they don't feel like a failure I think they get to running from & then quit running to, unless it's to fill that void within themselves.
When I hear of the spouses ignoring the children, in some cases where there is abuse, maybe that is better if there is at least STABILITY in that child's life.
They DO need love, but telling them how their dad is (at his best) & that if their dad were more settled then he would love them ... etc. But it does seem there is a pattern with some (many actually from reading about divorce) men that they are afraid of their emotions so they block & sub with new woman, new this & that..
yes this fits well.. at least with my ex!
We had much together, he would say so but inside he was empty & YES, that he would loose touch, seeing black & white/ either perfect or find something else.. we had an awesome relationship & marriage but it was not PERFECT. he thinks REALLY that there is PERFECT out there. NOT.

but what should i do? how can i handle him being this way? i feel so much hate and sadness that he rather love her more then us? what did we ever do to get that? what did our sons do? its funny but my love for andrew is still there and still waiting for the man i loved and married to come home but the way things our going i dont think that will ever happen. i work and go to school to better our lives and he works under the table to pay his court fees and so he cant get cought and forced to pay child support!!! he lies to me for no reason other then to hurt me. he trys to hide from us as if we done him wrong? hes 22 years old im am only 20 and have two kids and work and school i do what i can i would like him here and being with his son even if its not with me but he wont even do that> does he really want to go to jail for unpaied child support>? what the ****!!! how can u want that for your self how can he be like this not the man i loved and how can she sleep with him? arg i should not think this way it only makes me sick and wanting to call him which i must not do...........(sigh)

Amen Sunny. I agree, that was my experience as to the ex & seems not uncommon at all with men, as to blocking emotions & then the $, it is not uncommon.
& EXACTLY that they do not feel like a failure, so IGNORE. YEP.

Hi you should stop thinking about your ex. Delete him from your life. I can understand that man leaves his wife but can't believe he doesn't want to see his own child. You don't need man like that so consider yourself happy. About money he owes you, I am sure you can manage even without it and one day you'll be proud of yourself for making it on your own.