Sandra, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is horrible and no one here will tell you otherwise. I will tell you, though, that you will get through it. I'm sure that seeing others living the life you had dreamed of is like rubbing salt in the wound. That has got to be very painful. I am glad you have a supportive family (by the sounds of it). That has helped me sooooo much. I have found great comfort here as well. I hope it brings you a little comfort, too. Let us know how things are going for you. Prayers and hugs.
Hate to say this (but in a lot of cases where a man just wants out, and doesn't say why)......is there another woman?
Did he give ANY reason? "Not working out is not....a reason! I am so sorry; i would suggest counseling and seeing an attorney, just so you have knowledge in case you need it.
Well, I found out some new news. I went to our house to see my dog bc I cant take my dog with me and found our phone bill on the counter. There was the same # over and over again. The were talking sometimes 14 times a day. I called her, and it was the girl i suspected that if he was cheating it was with her. He still denies any cheating was involved or any feelings with her. He says he has been talking to her bc she is getting a divorce and it is someone to relate to. He has admitted to talking to her since the summer, seeing her a handful of times and admitting to stopping at her house on new years to say hi. He even called her on Xmas from my aunts house to my sisters and back home. ( we drove seperate bc he was working) But he still wont admit any phycial relationships. Well, I dont belive him. Its pretty obvious! At least, I have a reason to hate him. Before I found out all this, he told me he wanted a divorce bc he was unhappy, bc i slam doors sometimes and i am spiteful. All not reasons for a divroce. Well now i now the real truth. Its just still so hard, living with my dad starting a new journey, seeing my friends pregnant, hearing my other friends getting engaged and i am starting all over =( and yet he still wont admit he has feelings for her.....
Physical or not, it's still an affair-an emotional affair. The truth hurts, but for me there is also power in the truth. It's easier to quit blaming yourself when you know the truth. You're right...none of those reasons are a reason for divorce. I'm so glad you have a supportive family. You will make it to the other side and find true happiness. Hang in there.
He doesn't have to admit something for you to know that it's true. Don't let yourself mentally depend on what he says or doesn't say. I hate to say it, but it's almost always true that they've had an affair - a full-out physical affair. He may not care for her but he certainly doesn't know how to care for you either. He cares for himself and has been completely selfish. It has nothing to do with her. It's his lack of character. Shake it off, or at least pretend to, and be your best self. Let him see what he's lost. Take care of yourself. I'm very sorry and don't give up. You will get through this one day at a time.
I know you are hurting, but thank god you are young, childless and found out his true character while still a young woman. You have family,still, to live with. What he did sucks. It is disgusting. He is weak. It makes you wonder about your own judgement (in choosing him in the first place)but you have your whole life ahead of you. You will be fine. Cry, allow yourself to BE ANGRY, get therapy and get over the bum. I am going to do the same, but I am in my fifties. It is more of a shock after 25 years, believe me!