Yes, that's the clencher for me..
is him telling me I am his other half & making SURE that every last friend I had orig was dismantled & my life was miniscule of what it was prior & upside down, me in debt, he leaves with car, I'm disabled, & now divorced, knowing full well my feelings on marriage & he said he believed the same (till death do us part).. yeah. All I can think, over & over, is DIVINE JUSTICE.
as to ex, that's where I can't get past.
because I would tell him when he came back, that I am disabled & it's a BIG DEAL to leave me, create more debt, become center of my life (again) then leave me (again).
So, yes, it's the God Piece of it & all he said that was of God. & to walk.. over & over.
I hear a lot from women going through this it's like getting hit by a semi truck / then having them run over us again & again.
while they go along & sleep with other women, & start over again & again.. I just can't even get my head around it.
I said I would detach from here & I know I need to at least for a bit.. the reason of course is that if I think he is here then I can't heal. it upsets me.
he didn't want me in the end, he threw me in the trash can & stoked a fire.. that's how it feels.
I believe in God & I love. I have to keep that part of me alive, my spirit... & love.
it's just all more than I can really grasp.
Hugs & prayers... I pray that we heal. That our lives are peaceful, full of love & joy.
When I go to these forums what I desire most is prayer.. & to pray for ..
:)