Sue, you crack me up.
I hear you as to details. I am typically very cautious as to details but I also know the ex would recognize certain innocent comments too .. even leaving out details. My last # of posts in the last week of course gave many details ..
what I like about this forum, is that there is no connection to emails, one can change names if need be, etc.. so very anonymous.
There are good things & draw backs, as leaving a lot of details out doesn't really say in scope what is going on, however on public forums that is often best... & of course depends on each persons circumstances...
:)
we'll get past this .. I was actually doing pretty darn well until about a month ago & think it was little over a year & almost like starting grief process over again, & the financial piece dealings are HUGE & exhausting.. so just combination/also winter & holidays.. all of it.
my theory is it will take about 2 yrs total/ then will be centered again.
divorce is a big deal.
thx for reply/support.. & you're right, it doesn't really help to worry/stew over/take in everything ... it serves no real purpose & I understand what you are saying, about not caring about what others think...
it's not about everyone else..
i put on armor of God daily..
go to battle..
:) have a super day!

JLVR, Wow! My divorce went through two days ago and while our circumstances aren't the same as yours, what you said is so much how I feel. We were married in a church, before God, we took our vows...till death do us part. So now in the eyes of the state, we are not married. In the eyes of God, we'll be married the rest of our lives. We both feel that way right now. I'll feel that way forever, but I don't know how long it will be before his eye wanders.

I don't feel hate. I still love him. Always will. God will watch over all of us. We just have to listen to Him.

Justme,

Yes, that's the clencher for me..
is him telling me I am his other half & making SURE that every last friend I had orig was dismantled & my life was miniscule of what it was prior & upside down, me in debt, he leaves with car, I'm disabled, & now divorced, knowing full well my feelings on marriage & he said he believed the same (till death do us part).. yeah. All I can think, over & over, is DIVINE JUSTICE.
as to ex, that's where I can't get past.
because I would tell him when he came back, that I am disabled & it's a BIG DEAL to leave me, create more debt, become center of my life (again) then leave me (again).
So, yes, it's the God Piece of it & all he said that was of God. & to walk.. over & over.
I hear a lot from women going through this it's like getting hit by a semi truck / then having them run over us again & again.
while they go along & sleep with other women, & start over again & again.. I just can't even get my head around it.
I said I would detach from here & I know I need to at least for a bit.. the reason of course is that if I think he is here then I can't heal. it upsets me.
he didn't want me in the end, he threw me in the trash can & stoked a fire.. that's how it feels.
I believe in God & I love. I have to keep that part of me alive, my spirit... & love.
it's just all more than I can really grasp.
Hugs & prayers... I pray that we heal. That our lives are peaceful, full of love & joy.
When I go to these forums what I desire most is prayer.. & to pray for ..
:)

strongspirit,

I like your username! good choice.
I have to keep my spirit strong, doing what is right, & so much of the details really are not the issue but how we handle what comes along..
There's so many things that the ex did to me along the way & was connected always to his not trying, leaving continually then wanting back in my life..
etc etc etc.. said a good portion here..
but I hear you.. I risked SO MUCH for my relationship & marriage & I think that's fine if the other party is committed. But he Never was.
He would call me paranoid, yet I would haer from his family things he said about me, lies he would tell to others about me, confidences he shared.. he would lust women always, just the whole of this/ everything he claimed to be, turned out the opposite as to his walking it.. HOW I can heal, is to continue to be honest, with God, with myself, with others.
That's who I am. I was before I met him, during & still. I guess I just didn't seem to see that in him & that's what is heartbreaking also. Because I believed him, believed in him, but it didn't turn out to be true.. because he never ever walked what he claimed to be so.. I did.
I get it, it's like a story & I feel I see the outcome. WHEN I hold onto that. & my own truth, beliefs, in God, truth, & living the life that is pleasing to GOD for which I feel I am put on earth to do.. & keep the big picture in my mind.. I'm ok.
I love all of your comments, can relate & then I think of Sue's words, "I don't care what others think." Now if I hold onto that, & ultimately that is my belief because it's not about others.. it's about doing what we believe is right, good, following the highest regard for ourselves, our loved ones, GOD... believing all will turn out for HIS GLORY.
I HAVE TO KEEP THOSE THOUGHTS.. first & foremost,
then I'm fine..
my theory was year one will be total leg work/paperwork/ legal.. it has been. totally overwhelming/exhausting/ time consuming.
Year two will be social reconnections & getting my life in order that way.. it's already coming to pass this part ...
2 yrs is what I think.
So all works out, in God's Timing.
I don't think my ex is mature, or will be on this earth.. not spiritually, not in his life, as he didn't help out with the debt.. he didn't do anything in this divorce but sign papers, I was left to file, do all of it.. he never helped at all with the property, sale thereof, he left.. with car, to go start his life over with other woman/women/ all about him...?????????........ but I can't get stuck there in my head. It's not that he's with other women as to me I guess I just think it's gross that he would marry me then even think about being with someone else.. it really makes me think less of him.. it's not about who he's with.. which also hurts.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i go back to present, big picture, GOD, HIS TIMING, HIS WILL. I'll live the most upright life I am able to do, & love & pray.. etc..
when I think that he may be lingering?
it overwhelms me.
not in a good way... it makes me saddened, heavy feeling.. because he kicked me to the curb.
I just want to heal.
& get to Heaven.
I have loved hearing your story.. it's an inspiration!!!!
we'll make it.. we are to,
think about,
what is right,
what is good,
what is true...
(in bible)
:)
HUGS & PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!