Well, my divorce hearing was yesterday. I was told that after the divorce hearing, if all goes well, I would be divorced in two weeks. However, it was supposed to rain all day the day before court, but instead it snowed... 10 inches. How wonderful. The court house was closed.
Now, I have to wait (apparently longer than 3 weeks) to get a new date. That date will probably be an additional 3 months from the day I find out, based off of my last notification. I don't know WHAT to do! I had plans. I was going to file my taxes on my own when we got divorced. I was going to move next month. I was going to change my name on my AA degree before I finished in March and start my Bachelors degree. I'm sick of living up here. I don't have anyone here.
I was supposed to go to court yesterday and find out if I needed anything else to complete the divorce, if my witness was adequate to the case, etc. Now I have to wait to find all that stuff out too. I'm only freakin 20, and I want out NOW. I feel like I was forced to get married and now I stuck.
In addition, I haven't felt any pain from the separation, no anger, nothing, for two years. It's been two years, but technically I can only prove a year, and that witness won't testify either, so wtf. Now, all I've been doing is crying or feeling this ball of negative energy in my chest. I can't be nice to my ex anymore, it's stucking the life out of me. This is HIS fault. He was being mean to me, greedy, selfish, etc. When I told him the courthouse was closed he said, "Aww, no, really?" WOW, shocking. He sounded like he was ****ed jolly.
He said he was half way to the courthouse, so I said well just come to the house (out of the last ounce of kindness in me). It was my displeasure to have him jumping all over my $1400 bed to play this new game he got for my son. It's nice that he got the game, but if I knew his 200+ pound carcass was going to be hopping up and down on my new bed, I would have moved it. I just bought new sheets and a comforter, too and I only had it for a day!
I want out. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't. Since before the day I got married, I wanted out. The day I got married I told him I didn't want to be freakin married, and he left the house and told me "you'd better have your answer when I get back." He has a felony. I want this to be over. I would pay all the money I have in my savings account for this to just be OVER!
It's not that I hate him. I don't. I just don't want to feel obligated to be nice to him, because of the divorce. I'm naturally not a mean person.
Everytime someone walks by me now or looks in my direction, I just want to burst into tears. It hurts to hold it back. It really hurts a lot. I'd rather be shot or stabbed. It feels like I'm hungry, but I don't know that I'm hungry. That feeling that you know something is wrong, but you just feel helpless to what it is. I've been "hanging in there" but I feel like it's easier to just let go and see what happens.
What do I do now? Do I plan on living up here for another six months? If so, then I'm moving out of my apartment that the power goes out three time a night, where my landlord lets my place flood and doesn't let me know about it. If it's going to take that long, then maybe I should move to where I want to be closer to a SUPPORTIVE family. I'll just wait to be a freakin resident there (one year) then file all over again. That would be easier.
Please help me. What do I do? I need someone to help me. My mom told me that everything happens for a reason and maybe God is picking a different judge, but what do I do now? What do I have to do?
do whatever you want.
just go back on the court date. if you move send your lawyer or the court your new address. there is no reason to wait for anything except re-marrying or changing your name.