So after months of almost no talking to the ex, my son calls and asks me to come with him and Dad to look at a guitar he (son) might want to buy. Since it involves my kid I say sure and then ask to talk to his Dad. What is going on/who is paying for this. He tells me our son plans to pay himself (he has been really good about saving his money).So I say fine have him (son) call me 15 minutes before we are to be there so I can clean up from the project I'm working on. Son calls, I ask for the address so I can meet them there. He tells me Dad figured they would just pick me up on the way. Like I want to spend even a nano second in EX'S company that I don't HAVE to. Tell him I have go do some shopping to avoid That. Anyway son buys guitar and all is good, he got a really good deal.

Later EX calls several times. First I accidentally butt dialed his cell several times since it was the last # I dialed (had to check the address they gave me because I was there before them only to find out they stopped at the bank(( he floated our son the $)). Ex wanted to know if everything was OK since I called him several times(butt calls). HE would be the LAST person I'd call unless it had something to do with our kids. Even then I'd probably call several other people FIRST for support.

Next call was wanting to know if I was willing to pay 1/3rd of the price of the guitar. Ex was willing to.Told ex I wanted to buy him (son) a guitar for Christmas but couldn't afford it. Also son is really worried about my finances lately. Called ex back and told him that son is concerned about this and don't want to make him feel that he forced us to contribute. He (son) really has worked hard in learning to play the guitar and save his $. Ex was wondering why son thought about things like that (doesn't realize that I have to say we can't afford this or that RIGHT NOW). He (son) is also aware that I worry that in a few years I may not be able to afford to keep the house(which son wants when I die).
Hopefully son will accept our financial input .

Last call was that son told him he would call when he needed to be picked up. Ex was worried at 9 because son hadn't called. Had to tell him that this was normal. Games don't end at a specific time. If he had paid any attention to this over the years he would have know this. No I was always the one who worried about this stuff (only to be told CHILL out everything is ok ((that was when ex was around)) . If he was worried why couldn't he do what I did for YEARS and drive by the school.

Feel like once AGAIN I am supplying him (ex) with answers regarding our kids (he NEVER had answers as to how to deal with them), always expected ME to have them and then criticized whatever I thought.

Sorry feel like I got off the point which is wanting to tell him "Figure **** out for yourself AH"

I could almost have written parts of your post. I'm always having to tell my kids that we can't afford this or that. I always reassure them we have enough for the things we need but there isn't much left of extra things. Jerk, on the other hand, seems to spend money on whatever he wants. Of course through full disclosure in the divorce process I'm discovering he pays for it with credit! But the kids don't know this. They just know that when they are with Dad they can do lots of things they can't do when they are with Mom. So, once again I'm having to teach my kids some sort of responsibility-financial in this case.

I'm having to sell my home as we speak. Sucks. I have no idea where we're going. Great security for my kids, huh?

Jerk is constantly calling me to find out what time this starts, where that's at, blah, blah, blah. Hey, I give him the information once, or the website to go to to get the information. I want him to do his own d*** work. But...for the sake of the kids I end up feeding this habit of his, too. Really pi$$eS me off.

Interesting thing is I want to be completely independent of him. He left. He didn't want to be in this marriage. So why isn't he doing everything possible to be just as independent from me?

Tip: carry that cell somewhere besides your butt pocket