My stbx moved out in April. As far as I know no GF. My 11 year old (just turned 12) told me he would HATE his dad if he got a girlfriend. He has made it very clear he is not ready for someone new in the picture. I realize that in time it is bound to happen, but your kids are close to the age of my oldest.

Jerk gets very angry if I tell him anything. I'm afraid I'm learning to play the game a bit. In our situation his drinking makes my kids very uncomfortable. After one stay my oldest was particularly upset about his drinking. The next time they were to go with him my oldest ran to his bedroom and refused to come out. After I talked to him I went and told his dad that he was upset because he was drinking, blah, blah. His dad began to get defensive. I told him I was not judging him but rather telling him what his son had told me. He quit drinking when the kids are there.

So I know I got windy, but I guess I'm trying to make the point that if it doesn't come FROM you, but maybe THROUGH you the message will be received better than if he perceives you are telling him what he can or can't do.

I hope all works out well for all of you.

I threw the flea out on March 18 last year by the end of that same month he was already living with big foot. You can't say anything, if he looooves her, because that is what the flea says, he will do what ever he wants. the flea can't see our son 8yrs old without. She is the domineering type and he has to be her side or else, if you explain your reasons or concerns he will accuse of not wanting him to be happy. I have been there for the last year. I would just let it go and wait it out, that is what I am doing and it looks like it will soon be over.

I agree with Ladyrb. Let it ride.
My ex's gf isn't allowed to watch my kids so what happened? He hasn't taken a weekend since October, only seen them twice in December (for a mere 15 hours) oh and they are planning their wedding without my kids. No big deal. My kids don't need him in there life, they have me, my family and my friends to help them grow into loving caring decent me. That and my kids don't ever express any want, need or desire to talk to sperm donor ( yes that is all he is, he lost his right to be called their Dad when he allowed GF and her girls to take first place in his life) My oldest (9) rolls his eyes when sperm donor makes the biweekly promise to get them "next weekend" and my youngest hasn't spoken to sperm donor since the day after Christmas.
Everyone is right if you tell him he will tear at you like the Alpha male protecting his "pack" She is his only thought and the only one who is important right now.If she is happy he is getting a little action, if she is not happy he will be left alone. Men HATE to alone. Mr. Brain can't stand not getting the action.
I never told my kids not to love new ( or old GF) GF. I showed them that I was above that. I actually sat my boys down and told them to give her a chance and try to like her and most important treat her with respect. It was the hardest thing I ever did. This "woman" slept with my husband (more than once) and ruined my marriage. I did not do it for me but so that my boys didn't have to choose. It was better for me to deal with the bitter taste saying those words left in my mouth then to watch my children suffer.
When ex had first GF she was actually good with my boys. I hate to admit it but she was. She talked to them, played with them and made the weekends about them..this new thing well she is so concerned about the fact that the boys are of my blood ( long Jerry Springer type story there) that she doesn't talk to them, never shows them any kind of love. It boils my blood. No matter what I think of her I feel for her kids...they are innocent and shouldn't have to live with such a bitter nasty woman. All I want is what is best for my kids. I have to let him live his life but I can still be in control. That why I have a good attorney
Besides she lives in Mexico how much is she going to interact with your kids? Relax and enjoy watching him screw up.

The flea's gf is all about her. My son can't play with dad or have time with dad with out her being the center of attention. I thought I was the only going through the self fish gf thing. This woman is 40yrs and is competing with an 8yr for attention. What are these men thinking. I guess they really don't.

LOL! This thread reminds me of a conversation I had with WK while we were still nominally married. I told him that the Beast was never going to leave him alone about speaking to me unless he "did something to reassure her". Well, you don't get much more reassuring than a marriage license, now do you!

But she is still insecure, still controlling, still manipulating every little minute detail.

The kids don't get to hang out with him or even just simply talk to him if she is around - like Big Foot, she must be the center of attention if she is beside him. The rest of the time, she ignores him. I guess that if he isn't worth showing off, she doesn't want to devote any attention to him unless, of course, someone else wants his attention.