I feel for you. I was in the same situation over a year ago ie. blindsided & living with my husband, desperately trying to work on my marriage. It breaks my heart to hear you say, you had an awakening. I too felt that way. It sounds like you are blaming yourself. I am sure if you look back, there are things you would do differently, we all can relate to that. Since I have had a year to take a step back, I realize how unbelievably unhealthy & dysfunctional it was to not know my husband was unhappy & then Wham!!!! Healthy communication involves two people that are open & willing to share their thoughts, feelings, weaknesses & work on these issues individually & as a couple. My husband left our marriage years ago emotionally & behaviorally unbeknownst to me. Despite struggling emotionally with our seperation & pending divorce, I realize eventually our relationship was destined to fail. If your husband isn't willing or capable of addressing his lack of communication & how it affected the relationship- Big Red waving Flag!!! I wish the best for you. Be kind to yourself
I'm so sorry... what a devastating situation. I agree that maybe therapy or counseling is a good idea. Even if your husband won't participate, you should really consider going for your own well being.
For the time being, I might start to document anything you can in case you end up in court (this might sound insensitive, but I'm a divorce lawyer so I'm inclined to think along these lines). I really hope it doesn't come to that, but if you're proactive, you can protect yourself in the long run.
Keep in mind that whatever he's done (or not done) has nothing to do with you. You can't stop a midlife crisis, and it's not your fault that he's making impulsive decisions.
what you said is exactly how i feel....we spend most of our adult lifes being a wife what do we do when that is taken away? it was a big part of who we are
