We've been divorced 10 days and I'm still in the same house with him. He's keeping the house and I'll be buying my own, when I can find one. I have 3 months to move, per the divorce settlement.
Last night he came into the bedroom when I was putting my pajamas on. I told him to turn around becuse he's not my husband any more. He wouldn't, so I turned around with my back to him.
Next thing I knew, I was on my back on the bed and he was standing over me saying he was going to kill me and he could break my bones and get the hell out.
Then I was on my feet and he was holding me and telling me he loved me so much.
I don't know if he pushed me, or grabbed me to the bed and I don't know how I got up. Everything was so fast and so terrifying.
I told him I had to get out of the house and just wanted to drive around. He said no, the roads are bad. Finally, he was filling the dog's water bowl and I left. I went to the police station and called 911. The police came and then went to talk to him. Then the police called me and told me to come home because they wanted to talk to me.
The windup is that my ex spent the night in the barn with orders from the police that if he tried to come into the house, he would be arrested. They (the police) said they didn't want him to drive to the hotel because his alcohol was .07.
It's morning now and so far he hasn't come back in.
Oh my God. That would be terrifying. If you can find another place to stay until you find your own place-GO. Woman's shelter? If he's crossed that line once he will cross it again. You shouldn't have to live in fear. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Keep us updated. Keep yourself safe!
His emotions are out of control right now and I think the reality of it all is finally hitting him....he is losing control over you and there is nothing he can say or do about it. In his eyes you were in his home telling him to turn around while you got dressed and he refused ("The nerve of You!"...was his first thought.) Then because he wouldn't and you turned this time...once again you took control. He is losing control and you are finally coming into your own control...I know what that is like because I have a very controlling ex...selfish people need control of everyone else around them. Stay safe...because he is losing control of his emotions he will try to get control in other forms. The other girls are right...if you can get away from him during this tense time it would be best. You are in my prayers.
Can only add my agreement that you need to get out ASAP. Doubt last night will be the only time something like this happens if you stay. Prayers for you.
I agree with everyone else GET OUT. My ex not only tried to kill himself with a gun he threatened me as well. I went hours away with out even telling him. It was the best thing I could do for me and the boys at the time. HE needed to cool off and I was to scared to let anyone know where I was. I didn't even tell my own Mother where I was until I was certain she wouldn't let it slip to my ex.
Sue (I think she is the one who said it) is right he is losing control and can't stand it. Be safe
Agreed, get out now, before its too late. He is not thinking rationally as the girls said before, he has lost control over you and he can't deal with it. Control freaks are dangerous, I have only just begun to realise how controlling my stbx has been our entire married life of 20yrs. Now I am aware of how he does it, and I am now not taking his crap any longer and have begun to treat him with the, I don't care attitude and he does not like it one bit. Get out but let us know you are safe. You did the right thing by going to the Police, but they can't be there 24/7 so the best option and only safe option, is RUN! don't look back, you are now in CONTROL! GOD bless :)
Jo, I, too, did not realize how controlling my stbx is/was. I'm a strong person, strong-willed, independent. If someone with my personality type can be sucked in, I believe they can do it to anyone. No one realized what was happening in my home. It is a shock to everyone. And, no, Jerk doesn't like it when I'm not bending over backwards making sure I don't upset him.