Does anyone have any experience dealing with a husband with depression. The kids and I have noticed the change in him over the last several years, beginning when his mom passed away suddenly, followed by several other things that would be enough to make anyone depressed. He just has not been himself and fits most of the symptoms with the exception of his job which he has kept and excelled at. I believe he has been dealing with depression for at least 5 or 6 years, and that his affair is providing a quick but temporary way to escape his issues. The problem is, he is one of those kind of people who doesn't believe in depression. Our daughter was diagnosed 3 years ago and is under treatment but husband's attitude has always been that she just needs to get over it. Says that if she wants to she could just shake it off. He refuses to think that he could be what he sees as "weak" and "needing an excuse". Recently I've been reading a lot of information to him along with pointing out how well he fits the symptoms. After a long discussion the other day he actually said that everything I said was very valid. I believe he is wavering for the first time in his life he is considering the possibility that he might need help. I don't know what my next step should be. Does anyone know of a good book on depression? While I can see him considering he is very stubborn and this is a very touchy subject to him and I think it would take a miracle to get him to talk to a doctor at this point. The kids are planning to go to dinner with him this coming weekend and they will talk to him about the changes they have noticed. But I know he will think I put them up to it. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? He has said throughout this time that the issue with our marriage is not me, it's him. And I believe that depression is the issue with him.

My stbx is dealing with depression and has been for many years. At least that's my opinion as he's not been diagnosed. The changes in him have been beyond belief. He won't admit he has a problem and he will not seek help. At one point he did consider the possibility and went to a counselor once. He must have heard something he didn't like because he never returned, and a few months later decided that the problem was definitely me and he needed to be out of the marriage. No consideration to the fact that he hadn't dealt with his horrible childhood, his controlling father, his crazy mother, his abusive grandfather, his job loss, his feelings of failure at every turn. I have chosen not to be involved or care how he s doing in any ways that do not affect our children. So honestly I don't know how he's doing, but he's still drinking like crazy...something he didn't do when I met, dated and married him. (Social drinker yes-over drinking never.) I finally decided that I couldn't help him if he didn't want my help, and when he turned his back on our marriage I let it become his problem. I don't guess I offered you any encouragement her, just my story. It may sound cold, but I have tried for years to help him. I have stood by him through all of his craziness. I have 'had his back' when the rest of the world turned on him. It wasn't enough. I can't give him any more. Good luck with this.

You can try here
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/men-and-depression/index.shtml
but nothing will help if he won't admit it or if he doesn't want help. Some people get accustomed to the darkness and getting out is too scary. Good luck, you are kind to try to help. Personally I wouldn't bother, mine claims depression now and then, whatever, he certainly never helped me, I'll return the favor