Hi Ladies,

I am in Ontario Canada. Going thru a nightmare separation process. I think the ex to be is serioulsy ill.

Anyhow, how can I keep his cruel words' from getting to me? i.e. "FAT Leach". He said this the other day because he has to pay spousal support. Yes, I have a few pounds to loose, but by all mean's I am not "FAT", even if I were, how do I stop myself from saying something back? I don't want to, but it does feel good when I do.

In days from now (five), we know who will buy out who from out house, or if it will have to go on the market.

I have never been thru so much abuse. I never imagined a man I married, would treat me so horribly.

Thanks so much. Just holding on.......

Hang in there, I know what you are going through, my soon to be ex say some pretty hateful things to me too and I dish it right back. I don't like to you, he just brings out the worse in me. Your soon to be ex is hurting and the only way he can hurt you is by saying means things to you that is not true. So you just hang in there and be strong. Your best is yet to come!

I can relate to your disbelief. I have been thinking about how in all my years, it was my husband who ultimately treated me the worst of any human I have known, with intent, & is by far the most abusive man I have ever come across. To get over it, is beyond what I can grasp. I used to think, in time I would likely fall out of love & that seems to be what I'm dealing with now. I really have no feelings for him other than sheer shock over what he did to me.
The whole of it seems merely a big lie that he concocted just to throw me over the cliff.
What you are dealing with, try to concentrate on the facts & when you get this legal behind you, you will have more time to deal with emotions.
As you read & follow this site you will find you're not alone. What I think now is my ex goes around feeding women lies & b.s. till they believe him, then he kicks them to the curb. over & over.
I will say a prayer for you.

Bite the inside of your cheek. It's the only thing that keeps me from opening my big mouth to return my ex's nasty comments. Believe me he has had plenty of them.
He is upset, he can't believe I actually had the "balls" to leave him and the only way he can deal is to blurt out hurtful, nasty things. I really don't care what he thinks anymore but that German/Irish blood of mine gets me into a lot of trouble so I have to bite my lip to keep the words in.
Your in for a load of surprises fro the man you once loved. I know I was shocked my ex could stoop so low. He is a snake, can't get any lower than that.
Just remember you don't have to take his crap. You no longer have to listen to him. Let what he says roll off your back ( at least in front of him) Then go home scream, cry and vent here. We will all listen.
Good luck on the house

I had the same problem. Final told him I did not want to talk to him unless necessary. I don't answer the phone but give it to my son. I don't spend any time in his company unless I ABSOLUTELY have to and try to limit that as much as possible. If I do have to see him I make sure someone is with me, I tried talking to him alone and when he got nasty I just walked way. Most of our communication now is by email. (I still get some nasty one every once in a while but not as many and I can print them out if I ever need to use them against him).

Remember YOU are in control now and don't have to put up with it.

Good Luck

I am going through that right. I think the divorce thing is barely getting to him. He has been looking for a fight for 2 weeks, I have been avoiding him, but Friday I fell for it and we have been going it at all the weekend through emails, now he wants for time and communication with our son, so now I am still a lazy, fat, good for nothing woman and mother. That won't give in to his demands. I think that is what hurts him the most. That no matter what he throws at me I will not, and won't give in to his demands. Hang in there. You will soon realize that man is just full of hot air.